| | Speaking of suicide (what a subject!), I've known five people who've done it, including two Objectivists. I sometimes wonder if I'm unique in this respect, or if suicide is this common.
Of the Objectivists, one was a young 27-year old man whom I met through the Objectivist lectures who was currently attending law school, and seemed quite self-confident, almost cocky in basic attitude and personality. He was the scion of wealthy Jewish family, whose father owned a chain of stores, and was evidently expected to become a successful lawyer. But he flunked out of law school, and at the same time contracted testicular cancer, which he survived, minus a testicle. These two events evidently took its toll on him psychologically. His failure at school and the disgrace he evidently felt in the eyes of his family for flunking out of law school were probably the most devastating to him, but the cancer and the resulting disfigurement may also have played a role in depressing his self-esteem. I could see him deteriorate psychologically in the most dramatic fashion right before my eyes. It was an amazing thing to witness. He went from being arrogant, to being so officious and needy that when I saw him, I just wanted to get away from him. I eventually learned from his girlfriend that he blew his brains out with a gun.
The other Objectivist was a guy who was gay, but who thought that because Ayn Rand disapproved of homosexuality, he was basically an immoral person. I tried to tell him that Rand was wrong about that, but he was too convinced that she was right to listen to me. He didn't seem very happy, and eventually sought the counsel of a psychotherapist. From what I was told, the psychotherapy exposed disturbing aspects of his life that he had trouble accepting, and when I saw him a couple of years later, I observed a marked change in his personality. He had become paranoid, suspicious and almost delusional, believing that spiritual forces were communicating with him and that other people were the agents of these forces. I learned eventually that he had jumped in front of a subway train and had died five days later in the hospital.
The third victim was an attractive, 21-year old woman, who worked at a health-food store just down the street from where I lived. Unlike the two Objectivists, she seemed normal and psychologically healthy. There was no indication whatsoever that she was depressed or suicidal. One day when I entered the store and didn't see her, I asked the proprietor if she was still working there. He told me that she'd committed suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge on the day following her 21st birthday. The police had seen her wandering aimlessly in the streets at 2 AM that morning after her birthday party. They picked up her and questioned her, but couldn't hold her. She called into the store the next day at 10 AM and said that she would be late for work. At 1:00 PM, she jumped from the bridge and almost hit a boat operated by a friend of one of my co-workers. I later learned that both her parents had suffered from depression, and that she felt neglected by them.
The fourth suicide was someone I knew only through an acquaintance but had never met. He hung himself in a doorway with a note pinned to him, so that his wife would see him when she opened the door. This was clearly a vindictive and malicious act designed to shock and horrify her, not simply an attempt to escape from an unbearable existence.
The fifth suicide was a 10-year old boy who hung himself from a tree in a park that I used to frequent when I was a kid. He fashioned a noose from some rope which he tied to a tree; he then apparently got up on his bike and kicked it over. Childhood suicides are especially disturbing. Who knows what awful experiences caused this poor kid to end his own life at such a young age?!
None of these suicides involved sleeping pills or drugs. They were all, in one way or another, dramatic and violent acts. What's interesting is that of the five, four were male and only one, female. If I'm not mistaken, suicide is more common among women than among men. Also, with the exception of the 10-year old, these were all young adults.
- Bill
(Edited by William Dwyer
on 6/16, 2:07am)
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