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Ted,
Why are you talking about pity and misplaced generosity? I don’t have pity for the quote or its author, and I don’t need to be generous—I like the quote, as it is. You don’t. I get it.
My dictionary says “to take the place of: replace,” so his use of “substitute” looks perfectly fine to me.
I am confident the context is irrational fears, such as insecurities, and not rational ones that would arise from falling pianos or charging rhinoceroses. So, “Would one be better served…” Yes, one would be better served by shedding one’s irrational fears and insecurities.
Therapists encourage clients with problem anger to remember that the world is not trying to torture them. Rather, the people they abuse with their anger (people with fears and insecurities of their own) are just trying to get by in the world. The goal is for the client to replace his fears and resultant anger with compassion.
I believe Jeffries is the Speed Seduction guy, so his use of this technique is probably meant to address fear of rejection. I would guess his reasoning is that one is less likely to experience fear of rejection if one adopts the assumption that women reject him not to diminish or embarrass him, but out of fears and insecurities of their own.
Chris, would you provide the entire paragraph, (or more)?
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The substitute for fear is not confidence. It's compassion for yourself and others.
