That is certainly an interesting quote, Ed, and your additional citations are worth noting. Looking at communication and conversation as a uniquely human form of social love is a useful Aristotelian perspective. But Adler has some things to say about love elsewhere that are considerably less appealing, at least to me.
How To Think About The Great Ideas
From Chapter 13, Love Thy Neighbor As Thyself
"…And I think the answer to that question is very illuminating about the nature of love. The answer is that in loving, we give without getting in return. We are not asking for a fair exchange. We give what is not owed, what is not due to the other person…."(p. 120)
"Question: Are we to understand that true love is entirely benevolent, entirely selfless, entirely unselfish, that the lover does not require anything for himself?
"Adler: No, no. I’m not going that far. But I am saying this, that love can be unselfish, that love can be benevolent without being entirely selfless…Let me explain how they go together. In the first place, let me point out that proper self-love is really inseparable from true love of another person…[The second precept of charity] says “Love thy neighbor as thyself. The emphasis is on “as thyself.”…."(p. 123-124)
From Chapter 15, The Morality of Love
"Adler: And when we understand the precepts of charity, we understand in terms of those precepts the difference between good love and bad love…For example, consider the love of money, the love of all worldly goods. That, according to Christian teaching, is the root of all evil…"
"Let me name for you the three bad loves. There is the one I’ve already mentioned: the love of money. And then there are two others: pride and romantic love….This explains psychologically what is wrong with romantic love, why it is adolescent rather than adult. I think it explains it in terms that have a striking resemblance to the theological criticism of romantic love as the overestimation or idealization of a human being as if that human being were divine, something to be worshipped….And I think I can show you that these three bad loves of which Freud speaks are bad as loves because each in its own way defeats the love that enriches human life…Good love is defeated by bad love. For the love of money distorts and impedes the love of persons. And pride or narcissism more seriously prevents our loving another human being or being loved by another human being. And so such self-love usually ends in loneliness and utter lovelessness…."(p. 138 and 141)
So in one place Adler says love entails self-love, then a few pages later he condemns pride and speaks contemptuously about romantic love as the idealization of another human being. The guy was definitely a mixed bag, so to speak. Well, what can you expect of a pagan philosopher who turned Roman Catholic at the age of 68?
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