THE LITTLE RED HEN SHRUGGED

THE LITTLE RED HEN SHRUGGED
by Marcus Bachler

The other day I was thinking about how contradictory most voters’ views are with respect to what they pay in tax and what they think they need in public services. The entrenched welfare state mentality so prevalent in Europe is currently draining those countries of their productivity and accelerating economic decline. The attitude of the majority of voters in these Socialist Democracies is that they have a right to their poorly run and badly maintained public services that waste so much of tax-payers' money. However, what is also clear is that most voters also resent paying for public services through their own pocket. This can be seen by the recent protests all over Europe against user charges on public services that Governments are desperately trying to implement in order to keep those costly public services chugging along. The attitude of the voter is best described by the argument, “We definitely need our valuable public services (although they never work properly), but the money to pay for them should come from general taxation! I am too busy myself trying to scrape together a living, what with all these high taxes and social welfare payments and the economy in decline. If there is a shortfall in money to pay for them, then let someone else pay, but don’t charge me more! And if all the other taxpayers are hard up as well, the Government should find the money someplace else.” However, the money has to come from somewhere, and that money is being claimed by those who don’t want to earn it themselves. As far as most voters are concerned it is money that mysteriously appears and then disappears through the hands of Government without a care for how or why, as long as it doesn’t come from them.

I then remembered a fairy tale that I had read at primary school that reminded me of this point. The Little Red Hen. The claiming of the earnings of others by those who had not earned them, but expected them for free. All the “Not I”s of this world. It emerges that this fairy tale is widely read to young children throughout the world. The story will often have slight variations, but will usually keep to the same plot. The classical interpretation of the “moral of the story” is that it illustrates the foolishness of laziness and the need for co-operation in a group in order to reap the common rewards of any endeavour. In this light this story could almost be considered to be supporting the communist ideal of “each according to their own capacity, each according to their own need”. However, I think that the “Not I” aspect of the story does not just illustrate the unearned rewards claimed by the idle, but also the expectation of a right to those unearned rewards. Therefore, by the end of the story the idle are punished by reality because they can’t rationally expect the producer to give them those unearned rewards for nothing.

After a search through the internet, it turns out that an unknown author has already done his own anti-welfare state version of the story about four years ago called The Modern Little Red Hen. Nevertheless, this “Little Red Cock” still wanted to bake his own bread, and thereby not be accused of Little Red Hen-freeloading. So, he modified The Modern Little Red Hen quite radically in order to make its criticism of modern welfare statism more from an Objectivist viewpoint. I call it The Little Red Hen Shrugged.

THE LITTLE RED HEN SHRUGGED

Once upon a time there was a Little Red Hen who lived in a Socialist Barnyard, together with a Politician, a modern Artist, a Philosopher, a Greenie and a Union Leader.

One day the Little Red Hen bought some grains of wheat from the local store and went to her neighbours, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?"

"Not I," canvassed the Politician, as he made a speech offering his support.

"Not I," conceptualised the modern Artist, as he squatted in a corner.

"Not I," mumbled the Philosopher, as he wondered what “Not I” meant.

“Not I,” cursed the Greenie, as he argued in favour of restoration of the natural ecosystem.

“Not Us,” chanted the Union Leader, as he formed a picket line.

"Then I will plant it myself," said the Little Red Hen. And so she did.

The wheat grew tall and golden, and the Little Red Hen knew that it was ready to be cut. "Who will help me cut the wheat?" she asked.

"Not I," announced the Politician, who was busy asking for bribes from pretzel manufacturers.

"Not I," excreted the modern Artist, who was busy excreting.

"Not ... I?" questioned the Philosopher, who was busy thinking about what defined “I.”

"Not I," snarled the Greenie, who was busy watering his weeds.

“Not I, or any of my members,” shouted the Union Leader, who was busy striking.

"Then I will cut the wheat myself." And she did.

"Now," said the Little Red Hen, "it is time to take this wheat to the miller. He will grind it into flour. Who will help me take the wheat to the mill?"

"Not I," disagreed the Politician, who was preparing a report on the necessity of bread production.

"Not I," visualised the modern Artist, who was wiping his hands on the Politician.

"Not I," sighed the Philosopher, who was trying to find his train of thought.

"Not I," claimed the Greenie, who was worrying that milling pollutes the waterways.

“Not Us,” declared the Union Leader, who was demanding a reduction in working hours.

"Then I will," said the Little Red Hen, and she did.

At last it came time to bake the bread.

"Who will help me bake the bread?" asked the Little Red Hen.

The Politician spoke. "Know this good Hen; you have my full and unflinching support with regards to this proposal. However there are certain unforeseeable ramifications and implications that could affect the outcome of this venture. Notwithstanding the strict adherence to regulations and guidelines needed to keep all parties in agreement there must first be a full and fair independent inquiry into how the bread production may necessitate delegation of actions in the foreseeable future.”

“What does that mean?” asked the Little Red Hen.

“Not I,” answered the Politician.

“Not I,” embodied the modern Artist. "Bread baking would change my job designation and I'd lose my subsidy!"

“Not I,” concluded the Philosopher. “I’d have to establish first that ‘I’ exist!”

“Not I,” spewed forth the Greenie. “Baking releases Greenhouse gases!”

“Not Us,” exclaimed the Union Leader. “We demand a pay rise!”

"Then I will," said the Little Red Hen. She baked five loaves and held them up for the others to see.

They all wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share.

But the little red hen said, "No, I can eat the five loaves myself."

"GREEDY PROFITEER!" cried the Politician.

"ANTI-SOCIAL ELITIST!" screamed the modern Artist.

“SELFISH REALIST!” shouted the Philosopher.

“BIOTECH GLOBALIST!” barked the Greenie.

"CAPITALIST EXPLOITER!" yelled the Union Leader.

And they decided to take the Little Red Hen to court for unfair competition.

When the Judge came, he said to the Little Red Hen, "You must not be greedy."

"But I earned the bread," said the Little Red Hen.

"Exactly," said the Judge. "That is what you pay taxes for. Anyone can earn as much as he or she needs, but they are not allowed to keep it for themselves. That would be unfair!"

And so the Little Red Hen yielded all her bread to the Judge for “fair distribution” to the others. However, after deductions were made for administration and legal costs and a penalty fee rendered for late payment of taxes there wasn’t any bread left. In fact, the Little Red Hen was more in debt to the Government than ever before. They were all quite surprised when the Little Red Hen fled the barnyard leaving them with no more bread. In the end, the Politician, the modern Artist, the Philosopher, the Greenie, and the Union Leader all starved to death while wondering where their next meal would come from.

THE BOTTOM (END)

Discuss this Article (0 messages)