Rebirth of Reason

Sense of Life

Wedding Vows
by Duncan Bayne

The view from Sails Restaurant, RarotongaLast December, I married my fiancee & girlfriend of seven years (to the day - we were married on our seventh anniversary), Andelys, and we honeymooned in Rarotonga (brilliant place to relax - the photo to the right is the view from Sails Restaurant).

Andelys isn't an Objectivist, but she is very intelligent, rational, and goal-focused. We agreed that our vows had to specify what we wanted our marriage to be, what we expected from it, and what we were prepared to give. As she said at the time, "I view marriage as a contract." This doesn't mean that we see marriage as something to shackle us together should we ever lose the 'spark', but as something to guide our behaviour while married.

Wedding vows are a very personal thing, and should be moving, meaningful, & flow well when spoken. To this end, we based our vows on a translation of pre-Christian Celtic vows, which we then modified to be relevant to modern life, and to contain everything we wanted and no more.
You cannot possess me for I belong to myself
But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give
You cannot command me, for I am a free person
But of my choice, I pledge to you my fidelity and loyalty, that you will be foremost in my life and my in plans for life
I pledge to you that I will always strive for the betterment of our relationship; that I will communicate honestly and openly with you in all matters
That I will be your friend, lover, confidante, advisor and shoulder to cry on,
And that every new joy I experience I will share with you, that I will enjoy it the more for knowing it brings you pleasure.
Not two halves becoming an whole,
But two individuals united for the joy and betterment of both.
This is my wedding vow to you.
This is the marriage of equals.

We are both looking forwards to many years of married life!
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