Rebirth of Reason

Sense of Life

The Tonic of Love
by David Bertelsen

When my unhappy marriage ended last year, I naively hoped that all my problems would be solved in one stroke the mere release from the negativity would leave me abounding with all that old energy and joy I'd known so well in earlier years...

Silly me!

For the first time in my fortunate life, I was plunged into sadness, lethargy and unhappiness. Whereas I'd always shrugged off problems and those of others with a kick or a laugh, suddenly I felt helplessly lost in a deep quicksand that left me floundering for a way up out of the morass. I worked, I played, I laughed, I battled but I could not rise for air. Time healed the wounds, but the scars remained I became less miserable, but life just wasn't the way I knew it could be.

Then one day, out of sheer boredom, and more out of curiosity than hope, I posted my profile on an internet dating site. Little did I know that my life was to change so quickly and wonderfully!

A generic letter of introduction, a cagey reply. Expressions of interest, exchange of emails, chat via Messenger, talking, webcam and suddenly we were alive to the possibility of each other! We flirted, smiled, infectiously shared experiences and reflected on each other's joys and ambitions.

I'd just drunk from that effervescent, sparkling tonic of life called love.

The significance of it all hit me one morning without thinking, I turned on my computer, opened a blank page, and poured out my heart. I'd rarely before tried my hand at poetry, but the sheer joy, passion and liberation of the moment inspired me to this amateur piece of prose that I am inordinately proud to have written:
You have brought happiness into my being,
I smile as you fill me with joy

A deep feeling of joy, driving waves through my heart,
I smile riding the moment, living the passion

I remember your shining face, your cheeky flirting,
I smile and long for more, more of you than my imagination dares desire

My body aches with want, to know you and to touch you,
I smile as I ponder the promise of unknown physical pleasures

My spirit is lifted by the promise of your admiration,
I smile, and my heart swells with the discovery of a special shared dream

My mind is challenged by the fervour of your passion
I smile, and I know I must earn you to deserve you

My desire grows as I yearn for the places we will go together
I smile as I think of the journey we must take

I am inspired, renewed, happy, and excited.
I smile, because I have found you

I smile, because I see my reflection in your joy

As I wrote these words, I discovered within me a deep and wonderful sense of self-knowledge, acceptance and peace. I knew my struggle had ended, and a whole new universe of possibilities had just appeared to me.

A few days have passed since that moment and I am nervously anticipating our first meeting next week. I am a man reborn, working, playing, exercising, organising, and living like every minute is my last. This beautiful, sparkling, intelligent and success-rejoicing young woman has shown me the height of the mountains and the power of dreams, and inspired me with hope for the future.

She wants me for the best I can be, and and I am driven to fulfill the enormous potential she sees in me. For I truly want to deserve her.

That is the tonic of love.
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