Of Gentlemanliness, Etiquette, and Professionalism
by W Chase
Last week was the “Professionalism Week”, hosted by the Center for Leadership & Social Responsibility at the University of Washington, Tacoma, in which I participated by attending all the events – including the etiquette dinner. Prior to that week, I was at the Lakewood Town Center Barnes and Noble bookstore where I quietly study during weekends. As I was exiting the store late at night, I browsed some books on display, and a particular book caught my attention, called: “How to Live Like a Gentleman – Lessons in Life, Manners, and Style” by Sam Martin. Given my reservations for the etiquette dinner and my intention to attend all the Professionalism events, I figured this short booklet would be an excellent supplement. I have to pause and applaud the Barnes and Noble’s marketing team for the sheer ingenuity of having a table full of “Etiquette, Style, and Professionalism” books so well timed and placed. Having completed Professionalism Week and extracting from this book what I found interesting and useful, I’ve gained certain insights that I find important to thoroughly grasp for the purpose of truly living up to the standards taught in this book and in the professionalism seminars.
The evident thrust in the attempts to teach professionalism and gentlemanliness is the reference to a human model, or an archetype held by society as highly desirable to model oneself after, which exhibits these characteristics. In Sam Martin’s book, for instance, there is a list of 10 standards of what “a real and true gentleman – a man should be:
1. Of outstanding character.
2. Never late.
3. Always discreet.
4. Never arrogant.
5. Of impeccable manners.”
The other five – and the rest of the short booklet – can be read at your own leisure (I recommend it). These five standards, as you’ll notice, are characteristics that are directly observable in one’s behavior – which is precisely the most direct way to identify and illustrate proper, professional behavior. During the etiquette dinner, the host identified an array of etiquette rules, and illustrated proper manners by reference to standards of behavior. For instance, one should always leave their dinner napkin on the chair – and not on the table – when excusing themselves from the table. And one should always (to their ability) maintain a straight posture – and not slouch.
These standards of behavior are all implicitly attributed to the ideal vision of a class-act; the model of a true gentleman and an immaculate professional. Given the constraints of resources (time, etc.) of most students, professionals, and adults, it is understandably preferable for the purpose of expediency to teach gentlemanly behavior by reference to directly observable characteristics (e.g. never late); to teach table manners by identifying concrete rules (e.g. straight posture). This expediency comes at certain costs, however, such as forgoing a deeper analysis reaching beyond the ostensible behaviors of polished, professional gentlemen.
What exists beneath the visible surfaces of such ostensive behavior, are the underlying relationships that cause these characteristics to manifest themselves. Take, for instance, the ostensive characteristic of a straight posture – certainly an ideal attribute of the gentlemanly archetype. Rather than copying, imitating, and mimicking this model behavior, it would befit oneself to understand the relationships behind this ideal. A straight posture, given that it requires physical effort to maintain, will require a level of physical fitness to be sustainable in the long-term. The habitude of fitness revolves around routine exercise, which is instrumental to the value of healthiness. Pursuing the value of health is a corollary of valuing one’s own life – and therefore the requirements (e.g. diet, fitness, education, etc.) for not the mere subsistence, but for the very flourishing of it. Therein is the deeper relationship behind so simple a key characteristic: a straight posture. Valuing one’s own health from the love, enjoyment, and pursuit of one’s own life – and the requirements of it – is the basis for habitual exercise, and furthermore, the foundation of maintaining an excellent posture.
Take the second rule from the excerpt of Sam Martin’s book above, “never late” – again, an ostensive and highly desirable ideal of the “Gentleman Archetype”. This standard implies a series of underlying behaviors relating to punctuality, such as efficient and effective time management. This involves utilizing one’s time economically, which is supported by the habituation of making rational cost-benefit analyses with respect to the purpose at hand. This managerial aptitude is attained by pursuing knowledge of managerial concepts, applications, and techniques. The pursuit of knowledge is a corollary of valuing one’s own mind – and the recognition of its potential usefulness – which, in turn, fuels the desire to learn. The love, respect, and esteem of one’s own mind – and of its relationship to reality (e.g. knowledge), then, is the fundamental relationship behind punctuality.
In summary, it is essential to think in terms of relationships, rather than just mere concretes. More to the point, it is important to know good form and the underlying substance. Form without substance is mimicry; substance without form is crude. It is further essential to practice good valuing skills, which provide the basis for your habits, changes therein, and subsequent behavior. For long term results, it is best to substantiate one’s character with habituation; for sincerity, it is best to accomplish this with intrinsic motivation.
Discuss this Article (0 messages)
|
