Think About It
by George W. Cordero
Hey, I have been reading here on this website a little bit and I can’t help but think that all you guys are weirdos. You guys just don’t get it, do you? I mean, all this crap about how bad it is to for the government to run things and all. And if that’s not enough you guys have got the nerve to disrespect the Almighty himself! Well, let me tell you a thing or two Mr. and Mrs. Know-it-all.
First of all, the thing that really sucks about our government is how half-ass they are about running things. I mean, they ain’t got the guts to go the whole nine yards. They need to stop all this pussyfooting around and get down to the nitty-gritty! It’s time to take the plunge – I say go for broke: total Commie or bust!
Okay geeks - try not to faint. You guys just haven’t thought it through, that’s all. The upside to this is huge. Yeah, you’ll lose a little, but let me tell ya, it's nothing like what you’ll gain. And the best part is that there’s something in it for all of us – rich, poor, black, white, young, old, male or female - there’s something in it for everybody. And no, I don’t mean all that ‘egalitarian social progressive’ crap either. I’m talking about the practical stuff – the everyday stuff. That’s where this Commie thing can really be cool.
I mean, come on guys, which one of you hasn’t wished that when he got home from work his old lady was still standing in a bread line somewhere? Look, no matter how you cut it she’s going to bitch when you see her anyway. But, at least this way she won’t be home when you get there, and even if bread's all ya got to eat, just knowing that her fat ass was standing in line all day at 20 below – well, that will more than fill you up! Think about it.
And ladies, come on and be honest, when was the last time you could get that lazy unshaven husband of yours to take you anywhere? Well, under Commie he ain’t got no choice; all those mandatory meetings, lectures, and civic functions and all. You’ll be out of the house 5 days out of 7! And the best part is you get to see him grovel everywhere he goes! No more stroking that fragile ego of his ladies, he won’t have one to begin with! Think about it.
And kids, you guys really get it good. I mean, you know that crap you put up with when you get home about 2 hours too late – ya get the 3rd degree from the old man, then you try to stutter and mumble your way through some crappy lie, only to have the old man smack you one in the face and sentence you to a 2-week ‘time out’ in your room. Hey man, under Commie that crap will only happen to you once and then never again. Just pick up the phone and call the gents in the long overcoats. Tell them where Dad's porno stash is, or about that time when he got drunk and took a piss on a picture of Chairman Mao. Just don’t go too far, ya don’t want the old fart killed or nothing. But trust, me after a few smacks on his mouth and a 2-month ‘time out’ at a camp – he’ll be a born again sweet when he gets back. Think about it.
And you rich guys, man do you guys have it all wrong! If anybody should want Commie, it’s you guys. I mean ya live in this so-called capitalist society right, and you spend your time inventing stuff and making things work better and all. But everybody still hates your guts no matter what you do. I mean, yeah you’ll have less money and all under Commie, but man them days of doing stuff and getting spit at for your efforts – those would be over! I mean, you invent something under Commie and they put you on TV and everything. Everybody has to turn out and kiss your butt, and some old official guy will come and give you a medal for contributions to the community. A medal! - Can ya believe it! And from the very Commie guys that you been told your whole life was the worse thing for inventive types like you. Kinda ironic isn’t it – a medal under Commie and a boot in the ass under Capitalism. Think about it.
Okay, okay guys – yeah, I know it ain’t all sweet molasses under Commie. I mean, yeah that nice old Mr. Smith that lives down the hall – I mean ya kinda like the old guy and all. So it's gonna kinda bother you when the police kick the old fellow down the stairs for him having pissed on a picture of Chairman Mao, him having done that without even being drunk and all. But look, I ain’t promising ya a heaven or nothing – I’m just saying that you’re missing the big picture.
But, I saved the best part for last. Under Commie, TV is going to suck, the movies and music will suck, ya won’t have no car, and even if ya did there’s nowhere worth going. So, with so little to do, and so much time on your hands – you're almost guaranteed to get laid! I mean everybody will be getting laid all the time – what the hell else will there be to do.
Think about it.
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