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An Extraordinary Life Continued No matter what happened in my young life, I put the responsibility where it belonged. In my mind I sorted the responsibility for the evil behavior on those who carried it out, and the responsibility for my own future on myself. I never allowed myself to take on guilt for another person's actions. I always knew – without doubt – that it was they who were wrong. I had a vision of myself and of my life – that I was golden – that my life was special, sacred. No one had to tell me or teach me this, in fact, sometimes the actions of those around me seemed to be telling me the opposite. But my belief in this truth was unshakeable, unchangeable. I never saw myself as ordinary. I never saw my life as the same as any other life. As my life goes on, my task is to continue to hold this value above all others, and to live every day in a way that honors it. In For The New Intellectual Ayn Rand wrote: "Achieving life is not the equivalent of avoiding death – joy is not the absence of pain." Joy is not the absence of pain. You're probably familiar with Joe Rowland's active/passive distinction. With apologies to Joe, I want to borrow that concept and make a parallel here. You can't live a life that is extraordinary by waiting – by resting in your comfort zone waiting for something extraordinary to happen by so you can take advantage of it. Some people hear the word extraordinary and think: "Hey, I go to Disney World...I get promotions at work...and I always get the 20 oz. porterhouse instead of the 8 oz. junior filet." While those things certainly might fit into the overall picture of a great life, living extraordinarily must be more systematic than simply not passing up random opportunities when they come along. The way to live a life that is extraordinary is to reject the ordinary altogether, to actively live in defiance of the ordinary, to keep it from dragging down your spirit, from crushing your sense of life. You may believe that you can cruise along on "auto-pilot" and eventually stumble upon a satisfying life, but you won't. And why would you want to? Anything worth having is worth making an effort for, worth taking a risk for. Even when you are tired or afraid, you must pursue your highest value relentlessly. I want to read to you part of the definition of "career" from the Ayn Rand Lexicon: Productive work does not mean the blind performance of the motions of some job. It means the conscious, rational pursuit of a productive career...The difference between a career-man and a job-holder is as follows: a career-man regards his work as constant progress, as a constant upward motion from one achievement to another, higher one, driven by the constant expansion of his mind, his knowledge, his ability, his creative ingenuity, never stopping to stagnate on any level. A job-holder regards his work as a punishment imposed on him by the incomprehensible malevolence of reality or of society, which, somehow, does not let him exist without effort; so his policy is to go through the least amount of motions demanded of him by somebody and to stay put in any job or drift off to another, wherever chance, circumstances, or relatives might happen to push him. (p. 63)Which of these definitions describes you? Do you feel a sense of purpose, achievement, or upward motion? Or do you feel lukewarm about what you do? If you find yourself associating with that group of people in the lunchroom who piss and moan about the company – please rethink things as soon as possible. How can you live passionately if you are devoting so much of every day to that which causes you grief? Find the work that you love, work that causes you to become so engrossed that the hours pass and you don't even realize it. I hate the commonly held belief that it is unhealthy to "bring your work home" or that you can "work too hard." When your work is a joy and something you feel pride in, it will never be too out of your mind, whether you are at home, at play, or away on holiday. Having a career is critical to living an extraordinary life. Next, and back to The Ayn Rand Lexicon, I will read some of what is written on love. Man is an end in himself. Romantic love-the profound, exalted, life-long passion that unites his mind and body in the sexual act-is the living testimony to that principle.Again I will ask if this definition describes your life. Is your relationship a "profound, exalted, lifelong passion?" Is your love a response to another person's values and a reflection of your highest vision of yourself? If not, if your relationship brings anxiety or strife rather than joy, then you are allowing the ordinary into your life. Ayn Rand said: "The key to human nature is the fact that man is a being of volitional consciousness." You are not in a relationship by accident. You cannot allow a conflict in your life between your thoughts and your actions. I've lingered too long in relationships that did not reflect my values. I hoped that things would change, or had a fear of being alone, or making a wrong decision. But not once did this eventually bring joy into my life, and on the other side of these failed partnerships I have always found greater contentment. I prefer being alone, yet open to a true, passionate love rather than suffering in the wrong relationship. And onward, to the other relationships in your life. Are you benevolent toward others? While "judge, and be prepared to be judged" is a proper moral principle, carrying an attitude of suspicion and unfriendliness is not a recipe for happiness. Ayn Rand said: "A rational man regards strangers as innocent until proven guilty, and grants them initial goodwill in the name of human potential." Evil and failure exist in the world, and men will sometimes fail to live up to the goodwill you have extended. In this case it is proper to revise your initial presumption of "innocence." However, it is important to recognize that these disappointments are not the essence of life, or the norm. And it is essential to your sense of life that you do not act as if it is. Productive work, passionate love, goodwill toward men-everything you need to live an extraordinary life? Well, I've only got a limited amount of time, so it's a good start. A few months ago I bought a new car in Oklahoma. As I was making my plans to drive it the 1600 miles to my home in Philadelphia, I noticed that – if I drove more than halfway, about 14 hours, on the first day – I could wake up just in time to see the sun rise over the great Smoky Mountains on the morning of the second day. So I made it my goal to reach Nashville that first day before I stopped to sleep. I drove until 2:30am on the day and then waited, poised an hour or so from the foothills. As I started out the next morning the sun was just beginning to light the sky. It was just unbelievably glorious. And I thought – now I am so glad I didn't stop yesterday all those times I thought I couldn't go on. My life is the same. I am constantly moving toward another moment of beauty and inspiration. And when my joints ache, when I am sleepy, when I am afraid – I know I can't slow down and rest, or else I might miss that moment in the distance. Instead, I draw energy from the fact that I am living just as I want to live, that if I don't give up I will soon reach another goal. And I push on.
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