The Semi and the Butcher (humor)
by Brett Holverstott
Abstract:
Ayn Rand answers the question which as plagued philosophers and the general public for centuries: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" She proposes that throughout the history of poultry, chickens have been offered two false alternatives: to either die as roadkill or submit to The Butcher. With ground-breaking symbolism paralleling Nietzsche's Apollo vs. Dionysus, Rand argues that each alternative is a reciprocal manifestation of the same ideology-- and proposes a third alternative consistent with her objectivist philosophy of living on Earth.
The Semi and the Butcher
an essay by AYN RAND
If you have ever asked the question "Why did the chicken cross the road?" it is you to whom I write. Is is you who for centuries have held that chickens are either food on your plate, or vermon on the road, giving them no alterative with which to live a life consistent with their values.
Throughout history there have been two kinds of chickens which have come into power whenever society abandon reason-- The Butcher, and The Semi. The Butcher succeeds by the very virtue of those they enslave, by decieving chickens into believing that they are fulfilling their "Destiny" or entering "Nirvana," by sacrificing themselves for "The Chicken Coup." Under The Butcher, the chickens offer themselves to slaughter. But The Butcher ultimately must rely upon The Semi for survival, an agent of fear and muscle with which to dominate those who reject the creed of self-sacrifice. The Semi survives by running straight over any chickens in its path. But The Semi is also dependent on The Butcher for justification of its slaughter.
In either case, the historical product is the mass slaughter of innocent chickens. The Semi which does not regard the values of the lives of the chickens runs right over them, and The Butcher which does not regard the value of the life of the individual chicken leads them to mass extermination for the Whole. These two alteratives are manifestations of the same false ideology-- the lack of recognition for the rights of the individual chicken.
But politics is always a compliment to culture. When you hear the phrase "Why did the chicken cross the road?" -- this is your cue to run. The chicken who says this gives up his ability to think, leaving the world to the Semi's and Butchers. He comes in many forms, passivism-- giving up the world to The Semi's as the Butcher, or aggression-- giving up the world to the Butchers as a Semi. Each false alternative is a manifestation of the same deliberate attack on the chicken's rational faculty.
Why did the chicken cross the road? The question is impossible to answer--we are given no information as to which chicken and which road. We are given only two abstractions without context.. The question itself implies either rationalism, that knowledge is not based in reality-- or empiricism-- that knowledge bears no relation to how chicken's think. the question is a society-wide symbol of epistemological disintegration. Its cultural / linguistic function is to compliment The Butchers and The Semi's, by severing the chicken's mind from reality and leaving him to wallow in what he cannot know. Only by rejecting the question altogether, and its poltical implications, can chickens be saved from mass extermination.
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