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Susie the Superstar
by Jennifer Iannolo

I have one network television indulgence:  the FOX show American Idol. 

Though it has the typical hype and drama of any other reality show, I enjoy seeing true musical talent showcased and celebrated.  But that’s only when we get into the final rounds of competition.

The first few shows of the season are a train wreck.  That’s why the American public watches.  It’s the same reason why they slow down to a crawl on the highway when there is an accident:  they just can’t help themselves.

Though I do not rubberneck on the road, or watch any other type of reality TV, I revel in the first few episodes of AI.  I cannot help but watch in utter fascination the people who are devastated when not chosen to compete.  I know that at some point in their lives, in fact probably at every step of the way, their mothers, teachers, friends, and friends’ mothers told them they were special.  They were superstars.

This magnificent display of overconfidence on American Idol: The Auditions is a shining example of our nation’s version of self-esteem in action. 

You see, in modern day America, you get a special award from the school principal if you can tie your shoe.  Or complete a sentence.  Or perhaps if you are blonde and it is the third Thursday of a month that ends in “y.”

If you are a no-talent to an extreme, such as last season’s auditioning “superstar” William Hung, you can get a record deal and a Christmas album.  America fell in love with Hung because he “gave it his all and did his best.”  Nevermind that he has the voice of a retarded cat.  Now the man has backup singers.

This proliferation of “self-esteem” has done more damage to the future of our country than perhaps anything in its past.  Mediocrity has become celebrated more than Ayn Rand could have ever imagined.  All one needs to do is look at the current resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, D.C.  (“Strateegery,” anyone?)

At some point in recent history, someone misinterpreted the roots of self-esteem, and spread the wrong definition.  It is not “You are magnificent no matter what!” 

Hence my opportunity to watch “Susie,” a slouched, out of shape creature with no talent and a camel toe, belt out the words to a song I could not even identify.  She was, in a word, hideous.  When told so by a panel of judges from the music industry, however, she was dumbfounded.  She thought they were toying with her.    

Her reply to a dismissal from the judges?  “I don’t understand!  All my friends told me I was an awesome singer!!  I am not going to cry!”  No small wonder they played the theme to Psycho as she left the audition hall.

In some town in America, folks, this girl was told she had what it takes to be a superstar.  These words were fed to her along with her pabulum, and she swallowed every last bite.  At no point in her dream to become a famous singer did anyone bother to pull her aside and tell her she had no talent.  We don’t do that here.  If you have a dream in America, and want it badly enough, you can achieve it.  It’s the wanting that’s important.  And far be it from a good parent to tell his or her child that such a thing might not be realistic.  It would hurt the Little Golden One.

Self-esteem is based upon one’s evaluation of oneself, yes, but few people have the courage to take an objective, honest inventory of their strengths and weaknesses, nor are they aware that this is part of the equation.  Susie was clearly given the abridged version of the manual. 

Greatness is achieved by recognizing what you are great at, and pursuing it with fervor. “But I want it!” is not enough.  I want to be 5’8”, but guess what?  It just isn’t going to happen, no matter how many temper tantrums I throw, and no matter whom I choose to blame for it not happening.  I have accepted this – a fact of reality – and stuffed my closet with high heels instead.  It’s called working with what you have.

Shame on all of the people in Susie’s life who have done this injustice to her.  There are many more like her, and they are the future leaders of America.  That’s why I’m moving to another continent.

But first, I will indulge myself in Episode II. 
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