Daily Linz 9 - Friday Miscellany
by Lindsay Perigo
It’s Friday—a day when many of us like to let our hair down after the rigours of a working week, a day when I like to remind myself in a meaningful way of Oscar Wilde’s immortal aphorism, “Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” Today and on future Fridays, rather than focus on a single topic, I propose to wrap up some themes of the week in a manner that won’t always embody the importance of being earnest.
* The evils of capitalism! Yesterday I took the day off in order to have a new computer installed. Quite literally as it was being set up, it was superseded by a new model. I’ve just sent MagnumMac’s technician out the door with my already-outmoded new machine pending the arrival of its wondrous state-of-the-art successor. In the interim, I’m back working on this old thing that’s nearly as ancient as its owner. “Steam-powered,” as Mr. Bayne so reverently observed. And I’ve sent the interim government (after last month’s inconclusive election result we are still without a permanent one—anarchists rejoice!) a draft of my proposed Anti-Obsolescence Bill, which will outlaw I-Tech innovation till after I’m dead. I mean, the bloody inconvenience of it! The nerve of those greedy, insatiable, selfish, enterprising pigs!
* SOLOists who are paying attention will have noticed that Mr. Maurone has a new title: SOLO Music Leader. Have I taken leave of my senses, you ask? A “headbanging caterwauler” in charge of SOLO Music? In truth, I’ve learned not to see him in that light (or dark!), and when he approached me about setting up the new group we had a discussion that persuaded me that he was the man for the job. We both agreed that it’s necessary to transcend “genre parochialism,” without sanctioning nihilism, in the interests of “chewing” the many fascinating issues that the sense-of-life implications of music engender. As a practising musician and highly intelligent and informed theoretician, Joe M. is hot to go, and I know he’ll take ownership of his new role in the same admirable, KASS way that Ciro has taken ownership of his.
* Does Jim Valliant have a soul? One of the phlakes phrom the Phirehammer Phunny Pharm has rounded on the author of The Passion of Ayn Rand’s Critics so savagely that there are rumours the Counsellor has sought counselling (the rumours are false). It all began when the filosofer of the phuture, I AM G. Stolyarov II, made a positive review of the book conditional upon Jim’s renunciation of the unspeakable repository of hedonism, post-modernism and even sex (shudder) that is SOLO. Mr. Valliant responded by saying he didn’t negotiate for positive reviews, but expressed his appreciation for the concern that the phlakes had expressed about the mortal peril confronting his soul because of his association with SOLO. To which one of the phruitloops responded: Jim, I have expressed no interest in the future of your "soul". You can boil it in hot oil for[all] I care. If you can find it!! Jim has gone looking, I am boiling some oil just in case, and I AM has now announced there’ll be no review at all coming from HIM. (Methinks Mr. Valliant owes me!)
* The question has been raised by the estimable Mr. Gomez, why do I number my Daily Linzes? We don’t number Tibor’s prolific Musings, so why number mine? Well, the reason we don’t number Machan’s is that the number would be longer than the article. Why do I number mine? Suffice it to say that I work in mysterious ways my wonders to perform. To those who understand, no explanation is necessary; to those who don’t, none is possible. Nonetheless, my award for Belly-Laugh of the Week goes to Ross Elliot for his Letterman-style speculations as to what the reason might be. Reason # 8 came close to the truth: Daily Linz 69 will only contain Lindsay's phone number & the best time to call, though I thought I’d already given that information out.
* It is my hope that in the near future I’ll be recording my daily homilies so that the reading-impaired will be able to hear them delivered in my legendarily dulcet tones. In the meantime, those who’ve just taken offence at my reference to the “reading-impaired” are invited to seek therapy from Michael Stuart Kelly at SOLO Psycho. (Joke, Michael. I think.)
* My article, A Duty to Live? Set off a predictable flurry. I haven’t had time to properly digest all the posts, but first impressions were that none of them adequately came to grips with my question, apart from those which, in effect, stated there is a duty to live. Let me just register here, though, that I haven’t forgotten the thread and will return to it when time permits.
* Injunction of the week: Don’t be a dilettante! I wrote about dilettante-ism in my article, Seven Deadly Sins, which is reprised below since all the sins are a propos given recent skirmishes here. The best way to avoid being a dilettante is to get off your butt, or sit purposefully down on it, and write an article. Andrew Bissell is an insatiable beast (at times, even a drooling beast). He can never get enough. But trying to satisfy him is immensely pleasurable. Give it a go!
That’s all for this week, NEMs. Have a KASS weekend!
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