Rebirth of Reason

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Post 20

Wednesday, October 20, 2004 - 7:24pmSanction this postReply
On nerdishness and adulthood... let me speak in stutters and protest!
When I was a nerd, it was because I loved books.  It was because I could see connections between things that others did not, connections which exploded the conception of the universe that others took for granted.  I loved books because they showed a world of brilliant color, a world which I was convinced could exist in essentials and I am now convinced could exist in essentials and fact.
I loved books because they showed me that life was not merely the life one was given, one was told, and one was to follow in the footsteps of.
I did not at the time conflict this with adulthood, and I carried on in every rational competence expecting that achievement would be natural and continual with success in a later world.  It took years of a chiding accumulation of evidence to conclude the opposite; that passion, intelligence, eloquence, a demand to live was something to which managers, administrators, renters, parents, and all the other gatekeepers of adulthood reacted with primal rage and hatred.  I could never come to terms with it until I read Leo Struass, who struck a nail of instant clarity with his theories of the philosopher and the city: that those who question the values of their society are of no use to it or those whose identity lies within it.  Despite their competence.  In fact, because of it.  And this applies not only to sociopolitical entities but to adulthood, manhood, and all other social statuses by which the world lives.
Adulthood is a horrific package deal of economic independence and the state of having been spiritually broken, by a society which requires the second as the price of the first... and here, in America, according to a Protestant Ethic of material success in the service spiritual servility which, contra Rand, is in my opinion the real essence of an America to which I refuse any love or loyalty.
Fortunate, fortunate, are the few who truly manage to own their own lives.  One reason there are so few libertarians is that most people swallow their dreams and passion as only the 'natural', 'inevitable' price for getting somewhere in this world, and the creatures who accept to be so ridden do not desire liberty much longer, or at most desire only its letter (see: Charles Murray).  And I have seen innumerable spirits, in fact, everyone of brilliance I knew when I was young, destroyed by doors slammed precisely because they refused to conform to the passionlessness of pathetic inferiors in suits, slugs who by rights should be groveling at their feet.
Some of them collapsed in despair.  Others 'checked their premises'- and I say this honorable phrase with a sickened wretch- and amended their dreams, put on society's clothes, and became, oh, how so successful!  I remember one of the few true friends in my life, a brilliant student of philosophy, once, who after years of confusion got maturity and turned to real estate.  He is now a multimillionaire.  He thinks and is nothing.
That is Adulthood; a functional intelligence; a docile positivist willing to think about 'how' but not 'why'.
Thank Goddess most people here are not very good adults!  It was the liberation of my soul to find a station in life where I will never endure such a curse.
The adolescent, perfected and made powerful, if he can somehow survive, chrysalizes to the homo ludensis who is the artist, or the philosopher, or the true self-employed businessman.  The games of adulthood by contrast are a diseased, unreal mutation.  A Versailles without frills, reduced to the naked, office-building essence of a house of players jockeying for prestige.  Those who truly wish to defend productivity and independence should not look to the 'adult' word of marriage, management, and nine-to-five paper-pushing which chokes up all airspace for real productivity in matter and spirit.
To paraphrase something Walter Kaufmann said about Toynbee, adolescence's laughter is as ultimately serious as adulthood's seriousness is ultimately laughable.  Adolescence contains the fire of life that yes- Rand was right- is objectively the fire of steel furnaces and is in actuality the passion of the artists and philosophers.  But the world awaiting the adolescent is one that will grant access to that furnace, that concert hall, that podium, only on the conditions passions are already dead.  Unless you are fortunate, clever, or have a will of iron.
In truth, it is the social game players in high school who will be respected as adults as fathers and mothers, authorities, bosses, and administrators... and brokers of power.
Please, please, to anyone young,
                                             do not go gentle unto that good night!
Jeanine Ring 
From the table... in, the corner...
They could see a World Reborn!...
So they rose, with
                            ~voices~ ringing!
Oh, I can hear, them now!
The very words that they had sung,
     became their last communion.
on a lonely barricade.
At dawn.
Oh, my friends, my friends,
                                            forgive me.
For I live, and you are gone.
There's a grief that can't be spoken.
Yet the pain, goes on and on.
Phantom faces at the window.
Empty shadows on the floor.
Empty chairs and empty tables.
Where my friends,.. will meet.
No more.
                                (Les Miserables musical)
For all of those never adult whom I once loved.
They are all adult now, and dead.

(Edited by Jeanine Ring on 10/21, 12:14am)

Post 21

Wednesday, October 20, 2004 - 8:50pmSanction this postReply
BARBARA! THEY ARE 25 AND COMPLAINING OF BEING OLD! Well, I can tell you that me at 60 and Barbara at 39 are still ...moving.
Thanks for the advice on diet and exercise. I do keep an eye on my numbers. Lipitor brought cholesterol from 270 to under 150. That is a good start.

Post 22

Wednesday, October 20, 2004 - 10:36pmSanction this postReply
I got on an acid-alkaline diet, and went from 220 to 175 pounds.

Post 23

Wednesday, October 20, 2004 - 10:37pmSanction this postReply
For some reason, my 29th birthday was harder than my 30th.

Post 24

Wednesday, October 20, 2004 - 11:04pmSanction this postReply
I am actually enjoying getting older.  I feel like I am entering the prime of my life at 32, and hope I have an even greater sense of that at 42, 52, and onward.

The 20s are a voyage of self-discovery.  If one looks inward thoroughly enough, the 30s are all about settling into the home one has discovered.

Post 25

Wednesday, October 20, 2004 - 11:06pmSanction this postReply
I would like to add to my statement, however, that I would very much like to preserve the body I'm in *right now* to take me through those decades.

Bachler, how's the work coming along?  :)

Post 26

Thursday, October 21, 2004 - 12:13amSanction this postReply
I've received a question in private correspondence as to whether I wrote the lines I quoted above.  The answer is, of course, I did not; they come from the musical rendition of Les Miserables.  My apologies for not attributing; I simply assumed this piece would be familiar to an Objectivist audience grating Rand and the subculture's enthusiasm for Victor Hugo.
None of the credit is mine!  Though for anyone unfamiliar with the musical, it is simply a universe.

Do you hear the ~People~ sing,
lost in the Valley of the Night?
It is the music of a People
who are guided to the Light.
For the wretched of the Earth,
there is a Flame that Never Dies.
Even the darkest Night shall end
and the Sun will rise!
For all men shall gain their Freedom
in the Garden of the Lord!
We will walk behind the bloodshed,
we will put away the Sword.
The chain will be broken
and all men shall have their Reward!
Do the hear the People sing?
Who will be strong and stand with me?
Somewhere, beyond the Barricades
is there, a World you long to see?
Do you hear the People sing?
Oh, do you hear, the distant drums?
It is the future that they bring
when ~tomorrow~ comes!
                                      (Les Miserables musical)
apologies for any confusion, [I have edited the post in question
                                                  to include a reference]
Jeanine Ring 
stand forth!

Post 27

Thursday, October 21, 2004 - 12:15amSanction this postReply
Am I young?  I don't truly know.  In some ways I'm young for the first time in my life right now, with a new transgender's adolescent body and experience of passions... and my first wonderful breath of true freedom.  In other ways... I've simply lived too many lives and seen things that age your eyes, and by that I do not mean my profession, which can be practised in many spirits or none.  I just have a past, that's all.
And please understand, I count years according to my art... you do not take this job if you would rather burn long than bright, and I would prefer to be 19 considering I started less than a year ago.  I'm not young for my work, but I am young to be relatively inexperienced... I'm a fast learner, but I'm playing catch up, so I feel my few years a bit heavier than perhaps I ought.
Ultimately, I believe most of what we call age is a state of soul.  In which case, I would have to say I am many ages.
Jeanine Ring  

* May I politely request of the moderators that my submitted photo be attached to my profile as with others in this forum?  C.M.S.

(Edited by Jeanine Ring on 10/21, 1:57am)

Post 28

Thursday, October 21, 2004 - 11:41amSanction this postReply

Ms. Branden is only 39?  Or are you referring to a different Barbara?

Post 29

Thursday, October 21, 2004 - 12:44pmSanction this postReply
I'm no expert, but perhaps J.K. transposed some digits in error?
Jeanine Shiris Ring
*principled* libertarian

Post 30

Thursday, October 21, 2004 - 2:58pmSanction this postReply
Byron, one of the wonders of the universe is that many people, even though they live for many more years, never get any older than 39.

Just another of life's many mysteries.

Post 31

Thursday, October 21, 2004 - 4:28pmSanction this postReply
Jeanine said:
But the world awaiting the adolescent is one that will grant access to that furnace, that concert hall, that podium, only on the conditions passions are already dead
I think it is a goal of my life to make it so that will never be true.

do not go gentle unto that good night!


Post 32

Thursday, October 21, 2004 - 11:27pmSanction this postReply

Rick wrote: "One of the wonders of the universe is that many people, even though they live for many more years, never get any older than 39."

At last, someone understands me!


Post 33

Friday, October 22, 2004 - 12:32amSanction this postReply
Caned N Able-
I just want to say that you are more articulate at junior high school age than most adults are... than most adults are under their tombstones.   Serious respect; that is an accomplishment, and I dearly hope you never listen to any of those who will demand you trade your self-earned confidence for 'respectability'.  I warn you from bitter experience that some of the worst types in this regard are pro-capitalists who use the voluntarist status of capitalism as an excuse to demand resigned conformity to established bourgeois values as some kind of 'natural' market discipline... as if wearing uniforms and licking a boss's shoes is the same spirit that erects skyscrapers.
"The road of excess leads to the Palace of Wisdom."
In every seriousness, I respect you greatly as for enduring the school system and keeping your spirit.  There are those who say that the struggles of schools are somehow less important or less hard than the struggles of 'adulthood'.  They are liars.  Schooling was not my own worst battle... but as someone who has been through parents, school, college, minimum wage work, libertarian and leftist activism, corporate work, serious long-term illness and economic deprivation, the oversight of the welfare and therapeutic states, transgenderism, love won, lost, and destroyed, and finally discovered herself in the Life... school was not the easiest on that list.  Parential repression was the worst.
I quite agree with your statements on education.  Have you read Paul Goodman's Growing up Absurd or John Holt's Escape from Childhood?... your words remind me of theirs, also suggest the psychology of Wilhelm Riech, Ellen Willis, and Alice Miller.  Personally, I believe that our society would be far better off if education began with the premise than a 'child' (a term I think has no qualitative meaning aside from prepubescence) is a curious human organism who is principle enjoys what is beneficial to her or him, or more precisely that the only possible valid sense of the term 'benefit' is a complexification of the term 'enjoyment', and that any adult claim to knowledge must flow from this and accept the burden of treating a 'child' as a person to whom this must be at the very least implicitly demonstrated.  I am tired of theories of pedagogy- not just the progressive versions, but the conservative premises of curbing desire for a 'necessary' 'responsibility', equally Comprachicocic, which Objectivists tend to turn a blind eye too.
Then again, my views on the education likely fall into the legal category of child pornography, in that I think the inherent dynamic between teacher and student is inherently erotic.  I agree in this respect with the Diotima of Plato's Symposium, or with similar practices in childteaching of even contemporary "primitive" cultures, which in this respect I do not think are primitive as all.
Anyway, I hope you find a way to live your dreams... or more properly, continue to live it, since you are doing it now.  The life you desire is here, it's real, it's yours... I only fear that the full power of all societies that now exist in power will wish to kill this because they are built on the fear of human joy itself. 
The love of Wisdom is this burning which is an eternal flame.
my regards,
Jeanine Ring 

P.S.  without claiming the hubris to have the slightest knowledge as to what you should do with your life, I am willing to take the time to give any advice you might wish from a source who at least does not share the moral agendas of parents and teachers looking for heirs in social position.  Not that have cause to trust or any reason to care about my opinion either, but I feel should say this on my own general principles, and it can't do harm.  C. M. S.  *

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