Rand

I just want to know, what are they? And what do the rest of you think about sex? I was raised to think that sex, any sex, outside of marriage, is evil. I have had sex, however, numerous times, but only with one partner. I don't think that sex is evil, but because of my brainwashing I'm having a hard time coming up with self-interested guidelines to follow in my sex life.

Any ideas/thoughts that may help jump start my thinking process?

Jeremy Nix

Post 1

Saturday, May 29, 2004 - 1:57pm

The best I can say are these two points:

1 - Why wouldn't you have sex with just anyone (provided, of course, that you wouldn't)?

and:

What is it about that person that makes you wish to have a sexual relationship?

The point is on how you feel about that person. With any feeling, you have to explore why you feel that way; i.e., what is it about that person that makes you feel the way you do? And, when you discover what those traits are, what does your inclination toward those traits say about yourself? In short it reduces to: What is it about yourself that draws you toward a sexual relationship with your partner? Emotions aren't random...they're value judgments, including value judgments about people, and you are the person making that judgment on a subconscious level. Be willing to explore the issue consciously.

Post 2

Sunday, May 30, 2004 - 12:18am

Ok. So, consider this hypothetical situation.

I am close friend with a girl. We have been through many situations together, and are very good buddies. We consider being involved as "buddy sex" partners, simply as a recreational side to our relationship. This new aspect would stem simply from a desire to enjoy an activity together that gives pleasure to both of us.

From the objectivist standpoint, this isn't "wrong," is it? I'm sorry if my questions are naive, but it's hard to shed years of religious crap being ingrained in my mind.

Post 3

Sunday, May 30, 2004 - 9:52am

I don't understand the question "I just want to know, what are they?" What does they refer to?

Post 4

Sunday, May 30, 2004 - 11:41am

The title was originally "Rand's views on sex," or something to that nature, but either I messed up when I posted or the moderators changed the title, so that's why it doesn't make sense.

To clarify, I started this thread to get some objectivist input on a healthy attitude towards sex, because I've been raised in church and it's hard for me to break free from things that I've been taught all my life.

Post 5

Monday, May 31, 2004 - 2:39pm

Nix,

Our esteemed Founder, Linz, wrote a brilliant article about Rand's views on romance here. As for the sex with a friend scenario, I personally would be ok having sex with a valued friend provided that we both knew where we stood and were happy with the situation, and provided that I was sure the sexual aspect wouldn't ruin the friendship. I would expect that last condition to be seriously problematic.

BUT, that's what I would be comfortable with, and you shouldn't get into anything you're not comfortable doing. Sorry I can't be more help.

MH

Post 6

Monday, May 31, 2004 - 3:41pm

Yeah, with Matt's quicker response, I concur. As long as nobody's uncomfortable or hurt, I see no problems whatsoever.

Post 7

Monday, May 31, 2004 - 6:20pm

Thanks for the help and the article. I agree with you, I'm just going to have to work to get rid of some of those deep-seated feelings that automatically come up when it comes to this subject. I feel that the only problematic part, as you said Matt, is making sure it doesn't ruin the relationship or become the focus of it.

Jeremy Nix

Post 8

Monday, May 31, 2004 - 8:44pm

I have another question as well. How reliable are condoms, really? I've been raised that they're not really reliable, but I think that's a lie. From what I can tell, from use and from others who have used them, they are extremely reliable provided you put them on right. I've heard that they don't break unless there's air trapped in the top when you put it on. If there's air, it might break, otherwise you're good to go. However, on the box it says that condoms aren't to be used in lieu of a vaginal spermicide. So what do I believe?

Post 9

Monday, May 31, 2004 - 10:35pm

I remember doing this research as part of my job (I am a medic in the military) and, from what I remember reading, latex condoms fail to prevent a pregnancy less than 3% of the time if used properly and consistently. If you factor in the couples who do not use condoms properly and consistently, the failure rate is more than 10%. For preventing the transmission of a STD, condoms are close to 100% effective. The only STD I can think of that condoms cannot prevent to that degree is herpes. These figures will vary depending on the brand and type of condom. Generally, the greater the "sensitivity", the less the effectiveness. I should add condoms should always be used in conjunction with other birth control methods.

Oh, as for oral sex causing tooth decay, that can be prevented with good oral hygiene (cleaning the teeth and gums with a toothbrush and floss). An amusing point brought up in another thread Nix initiated. =)
(Edited by Byron Garcia on 5/31, 10:45pm)

Post 10

Monday, May 31, 2004 - 10:51pm

By the way, and no offense, but what does the efficacy of condoms have to do with Objectivism? Now that I think of it, you could have looked up the answer to that question on Google in the time it took for me or anyone else on this forum to respond. I have no problem helping out others (and not in an altruistic way of course) but I was wondering if there was a point you were leading up to...

Post 11

Tuesday, June 1, 2004 - 1:02am

Actually, it has no point, it was a rabbit trail from my original point. I just wanted to find the answer from intelligent people who are unbiased by religion.

Thanks for the stats! Too bad I don't know where to get my hands on other kinds of birth control. Phooey. At least while I'm still living in my parents' house, that is.

Post 12

Wednesday, June 2, 2004 - 8:38am