About
Content
Store
Forum

Rebirth of Reason
War
People
Archives
Objectivism

Post to this threadMark all messages in this thread as readMark all messages in this thread as unreadBack one pagePage 0Page 1


Post 20

Sunday, January 1, 2006 - 4:19pmSanction this postReply
Bookmark
Link
Edit
Jon,

In post 16 I threw away these assumptions, making the assumptions non-persistent. But you are right, I did make those assumptions at first.

Dean

Post 21

Sunday, January 1, 2006 - 5:19pmSanction this postReply
Bookmark
Link
Edit
Luke -

Maybe right -- maybe wrong.  That is what I have been saying: The text does not tell us enough to know for sure.  This is why I have expressed sympathies for the various viewpoints here -- except for those of Glasser, whose text omits the key information we need to evaluate his methods objectively.
I'll buy that. ;)


Post 22

Tuesday, January 3, 2006 - 5:48amSanction this postReply
Bookmark
Link
Edit
quote Ted, it is good to see you here!  I see you on the local freethought list regularly.  Perhaps you can make an Objectivist meeting some time.


I plan to, I'm not sure when.  I am working a lot of hours at my job and have been busy with many things.

 EDIT: What does Glasser say about self-esteem and reason?  I see from the link that he claims most problems stem from relationship problems.  Does he recognize the role of one's good relationship with one's own Self, i.e., high self-esteem, as the key to good living?

Yes.  That's basically what the book is about.  "The only person whose behavior we can control is our own".  However, at the same time, you need to recognize that the other people in your life are there to meet THEIR needs, not yours.  The world does not revolve around you, and the sooner you recognize this the better off you will be.

Therefore, in dealing with others, do so from the point of view that anything another person does is something they choose to do because they want their needs met, not yours.  Do not try to get them to put your happiness above theirs, this attempt will result in a lot of unhappiness for both of you.  At the same time, don't put someone elses happiness above yours either, same result.  Instead, find a way to meet your needs and meet their needs at the same time. 

To do this, replace:

 

Seven Deadly Habits

Criticizing
Blaming
Complaining
Nagging
Threatening
Punishing
Bribing or rewarding to control

with:


Seven Caring Habits

Supporting
Encouraging
Listening
Accepting
Trusting
Respecting
Negotiating differences


Also, don't make the assumption that they have the same needs that you have.  Everybody is a unique individual with their own unique combination of needs.

About halfway through this book, I realized that this sounded a lot like objectivism.  As far as I can tell, it IS objectivism.  However, objectivism is not mentioned in the book anywhere.  Neither is Rand or any of her followers.  He seems to have come up with this on his own.



Ted


Post 23

Tuesday, January 3, 2006 - 6:33amSanction this postReply
Bookmark
Link
Edit
Ted,

Do you have anything to say about my criticism of the Seven Deadly Habits in Post 2? Do you think its ever best to commit one of the Seven Deadly Habits?

Hmmm... or maybe Glasser is saying that its best to make the "Seven Caring Habits" as our habitual behavior, and to only use one of the items in the "Seven Deadly Habits" list when its actually best to use one of them.

Excellent find, by the way. I would like to incorporate more of the "Seven Caring Habits" into my character.

Supporting: only when I think both the person and myself will benefit.
Encouraging: see supporting
Listening: see supporting
Accepting: only when there is truth, justice, etc to accept
Trusting: see accepting
Respecting: see accepting
Negotiating differences: only in ways that do not involve sacrificing my values, otherwise no deal.

Does Glasser try to describe when its best to do one of the "Seven Caring Habits", and when its best to do one of the "Seven Deadly Habits"?

Post 24

Tuesday, January 3, 2006 - 10:37pmSanction this postReply
Bookmark
Link
Edit
Do you have anything to say about my criticism of the Seven Deadly Habits in Post 2? Do you think its ever best to commit one of the Seven Deadly Habits?
It all depends on how you do it.  Are you doing it in such a way that the result is a better outcome for you and the other person, are you trying to get something at someone elses expense?

The book is unfortunately a bit weak on how you go about doing this, but it does good chapters on Choice Theory in education and the workplace.


Post 25

Saturday, January 7, 2006 - 5:56amSanction this postReply
Bookmark
Link
Edit
I recently posted a message on Ayn Rand and Objectivism.on this Yahoo group and got some good responses.  Check it out!:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ROGHA/

Description

ROGHA (a Gaelic word meaning "choice")is a mailing list for anyone interested in knowing more about using Reality Therapy and the principles of Choice Theory either professionally or in their daily lives. You're welcome whether you know nothing, a little or a lot about Reality Therapy/Choice Theory.




Post to this threadBack one pagePage 0Page 1


User ID Password or create a free account.