RoR: Forum

I like this joke. I like it when the buildup is all red herring. On the edge of my seat, I await her touching herself, really touching herself—and the tack the doctor will take at that point—but that’s not the way it goes…

Post 1

Wednesday, June 15, 2005 - 10:06pm

Doctor jokes? This could go on forever :-)

Man walks into a doctor's office...

Doc: Now, what seems to be the problem?
Man: I'm not sure, Doctor. My head hurts, my eyes hurt, my legs, my arms, my back hurts, my ass hurts, my chest...

The doctor examines him.

Doc: Well, I can't seem to find anything wrong with you. I can only imagine it must be the drink.
Man: Oh, that's alright, Doctor. I'll come back tomorrow when you're sober.

(told to me by Billy Connolly, and 2,000 others)

Ross

Post 2

Wednesday, June 15, 2005 - 11:22pm

Man: I don't feel well.

Doctor: Well, just from looking at you, you seem to have some serious liver trouble. I'll have to run some tests. Do you drink?

Man: Why thank you, Doctor. I'll have a whiskey and soda.

Post 3

Thursday, June 16, 2005 - 4:11pm

A woman in her eighties goes to the doctor and receives a thorough exam. The doctor says, “I find that you have acute angina.”
She says, “Oh. I was not expecting to hear that! Thank you. And what about the pain in my chest?”

Post 4

Thursday, June 16, 2005 - 6:33pm

Sorry guys, you got me going just now. Back to blonds and redheads.

A Blond thought her Husband was cheating on her with a Redhead because she found some red hairs on his pillow. So she set a trap for him.

She told him that she was going to visit her parents the next morning and would only return late at night. Then she bought a gun and set up a stakeout. Sure enough a Redhead showed up at her door a couple of hours after she pretended to leave.

The Blond waited about 40 minutes, then stormed into the house drawing the gun. In the bedroom, she encountered her Husband and Redhead under the sheets.

The Redhead let out a scream as the Blond pointed the gun at her own head.

BLOND (to Redhead): Now see what you've done, you floozy! Get a load of this!

HUSBAND: My God! Don't do anything rash! Calm down!

BLOND (to Husband): Shut up, you bastard! You're next!

Post 5

Friday, June 17, 2005 - 3:17pm

Michael, you spelled "blonde" incorrectly as "blond".

What color is your hair?

Post 6

Friday, June 17, 2005 - 3:31pm

Earth to Phil, Earth to Phil, are you there???...

I consulted two different dictionaries and they both give blond as a noun for people with blond colored hair and/or complexion. Blonde was given in one of them as a noun used only for females, but did not exclude blond from this. In the other, blonde is merely a synonym for blond. That's good enough for me for that research.

bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

(That's the spelling bee taking off...)

My own hair is chestnut (I think). Why? Whatcha got in mind?

Michael

Post 7

Friday, June 17, 2005 - 11:14pm

Philip, so you actually do poop on a party now and then. Shame on you.

Post 8

Saturday, June 18, 2005 - 12:58pm

> Philip, so you actually do poop on a party now and then. Shame on you.

Charles, I'm not naming any names but only when the party-goers do something viciously obscene like use bad spelling on a joke thread. And then compound their monkeylike Kantian nihilistic-subjectivo evil by dredging up some thirdrate Serbo-Croation to Portuguese dictionary to defend it.

I'm generally an easy-going guy who can tolerate a lot of things but grammaticoil or spellink error are the mark ov duhDevul;

Post 9

Saturday, June 18, 2005 - 1:26pm

LOLOL...

Fil, the Pheely Phaculty Phuk, strikes again.

Michael
Phuk Basher Squad Leader

Post 10

Saturday, June 18, 2005 - 1:40pm