|The endeavour is way too high risk/reward to ever let others make the decision for you and your spouse(and ibn the final analysis, it is your wife who bears the most risk in procreation. That isn't fair or unfair, it is just the facts.) My reasons might not be your reasons; my responsibilities are not your responsibilities. My joy is not your joy. My sorrow is not your sorrow. My risk is not your risk. My reward is not your reward.|
Nobody should ever talk you into having or not having children. Nope; it is too consequential for a poll(I don'tmean this poll, I mean, an actual instance of putting finger to wind before actually making the decision.) It's your risk. It's your reward. It is your consequence, either for having or not having.
My sons, by far, are the greatest joys in my life. I have no idea what I ever did to deserve them.
My path is not the only path, but for the first six years of our marriage, we took steps not to get pregnant. Then, when we decided we wanted children in our lives, it wasn't like 'trying.' It was... we stopped taking steps to avoid pregnancy, and said, if it happens, it happens.
And it happened. Three times. One miscarriage. Two sons.
High risk. High reward. That's life.
And looking back, my memories of before kids are like in b/w, and ever since, in color. But that is just me.
One special needs son, my second. Do I consider him the downside of risk? Do I regret not stopping at one?
Hell no. If anything, I'm grateful that we accidentally didn't terminate him. My wife was older when we conceived him, like 38. She had CVS procedure, testing for birthdefects, with obvious consequences had the tests come back positive. But Williams Syndrome wasn't typically screened for -- still isn't -- and so, he snuck by. And I am grateful for that, not dissapointed. We were clueless. What were we afraid of? I have no idea. Eric is one of the most truly unique people I have ever met, and a complete joy to know and love.
But I'd never make that decision for another; never, nor judge them for what is their own decision, their own consequences, their own risk, their own reward.