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Parody Preview of Malcolm Gladwell's book "Outliers"

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Sanctions: 16
Sanctions: 16
Parody Preview of Malcolm Gladwell
I plan to write a comprehensive and sincere review of this book -- linking Gladwell's thinking to John Rawls' thinking regarding a notion Rawls called "veil of ignorance" (in his book Theory of Justice). However, I'm not yet finished with this book and I find myself in a pretty intense disagreement with it. It's hard to continue reading things that you think that you know are wrong.

In order to vent my frustrations and to lift my spirits so that I can make it through this book less painfully, I have decided to create an "intercessional" parody preview. None of the following is actually in the book, although I'm of the mind that it could be.

Begin parody ...
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This book is about the story of success. The usual explanations for the success of folks are that they either have higher intelligence ("learning" is easier for them), have innate talent ("doing" is easier for them), or are just more single-minded in their purpose ("living" is easier for them). In this groundbreaking book of mine, I'm going to show you how most of the success of folks everywhere is "not their fault" -- i.e., that it's accidental. Take shark attacks.

When parents proudly proclaim that their kids have never been eaten by sharks, they usually add the explanatory boast that they were good parents who taught their kids how to swim. They talk with pride about how they got their kids into swimming school at such a young age. "Little Johnny took to the water like a fish!" Little do these parents know, however, that all the while there was something else -- besides individual swimming ability -- preventing their kids from being eaten by sharks!

A team of concerned scientists asked themselves this crucial question: "Does one's indidivual swimming ability REALLY protect us from shark attacks, or is there something else? What they found was no less than startling. The old explanations for how folks have successfully avoided shark attacks -- individual ability or talent, intelligence, hard work -- didn't have much, if any, effect on the outcome of getting eaten by a shark!

Instead, what these scientists found -- upon intense statistical, multifactorial analysis of shark attack avoiders -- was that they all shared a common and entirely accidental characteristic. It had nothing to do with their personal ability. Nothing to do with their intelligence. What mattered most regarding shark attacks was ... being born far from the coast!

Now, the solution is simple. Everyone knows we would want all kids to enjoy the shark-free success of the kids living far from the coast. To disagree with that would make you a murderer. But what we have to all do now is to get rid of those old and stale ideologies about success being something that one achieves on merit, and to raise our consciousness and realize that it's the accidental things in life that primarily dictate outcomes.

What's required of us now, with this new high-mindedness, is for us to create a multi-billion dollar government relocation program for all of the kids living along the coastline. We can expect nearly 100% success in avoiding future shark attacks if we do this. Life is of ultimate importance so there is no good reason -- besides our hanging on to our old, stale explanations of success -- that we shouldn't go forward with it and spend whatever money and time it takes.

Congratulations, Reader, you have now joined the club of the really-high-minded progressives! The only thing left for you to do is to (1) totally accept my reasoning, (2) open up your wallet, and (3) play your part in the high-minded solutions that I have to offer (so that everyone gets a truly-equal opportunity for success).
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End parody.

p.s. I have not yet read any Objectivist reviews of this book yet. I'm trying to get a completely personal reaction to it. I will have a full, sincere review of this book on Teresa's desk within 72 hours.

Ed

Added by Ed Thompson
on 1/22/2009, 6:48am

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