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Your Guide to Slide: The Slacker's Guide to College by Brady Lessard|
|This highly entertaining little book, published in 1995, has much more truth to it than most would care to admit. Sadly, it has gone out of print though Amazon still carries used copies at reasonable prices. This review includes a summary of the book's table of contents as well as quotes and summaries of each chapter. Any future release of this book will absolutely need to account for how to use the Internet to elevate slacking into the stratosphere.|
CHAPTER 1 -- ALL ABOARD!
Hello Down There
Get That Degree
The Big Lie
An Easier Way
The Blowoff That Wasn't
Take the Slide Challenge
Life Is Pass/Fail
"Slacker: One who has developed a method of operation that requires less than half the effort of the average person's, while achieving comparable results, thereby freeing up time to pursue more enjoyable activities."
"After I graduated, I had a major surprise. My new employer offered me a job for fairly decent cash, and he never once
1. asked about my college;
2. asked to see my diploma.
Would he be paying me more if I'd gone to Yale or Harvard?"
"I know I could apply for a hundred jobs, each time claiming a different college as my alma mater, and never get caught. If nobody checks, how important can it be? [...] And what about those other hassles -- grade point average, attendance record, class rank? Meaningless. Corporate interviewers want to know if you can turn a profit for the company. They don't care how you did in Biology 101."
"But enough philosophy. In their way, your parents and teachers were right: If you want a well-salaried career, get a degree. The days when you could work your way up from the mail room to corporate mogul are long gone. [...] (The bad news: You wanna ride the train, you gotta have a ticket. The good news: Once you have it, nobody looks at it.)"
CHAPTER 2 -- HOW TO SELECT A SCHEDULE
Wake Up, Slacker
The Big Two
The Professor: For Real, or a Joker?
The Hours: Slacker's or Chump's?
Exact Same Class, or Pain in the ... ?
Grading System: Straight or on a Curve?
Tests and Papers: Few or Many?
All Together Now: The Schedule Selection Checklist
"Most college students who fail to graduate are forced out of school after their first two semesters. (In my opinion, they're chumps. Anyone who flunks out after two semesters doesn't understand the system. What a shame. They'll end up pumping gas for the rest of us.) [...] The decisions you make at the beginning of each semester determine not only the amount of work your courses will require but also whether you get C's or A's in those courses." The strategic planning comes in two phases: registration and the drop-add period. Be sure to tell and not "ask" your advisor about your plans. Your goals as a slacker run counter to those of your advisor. Make sure you retain the position of "boss" of your own life. You want a "joker" for a professor who gives the "B" grade generously, not a "real deal" professor who actually expects you to achieve his mastery of the material. You will judge the professor in part on "inside information" from other slackers and also on the professor's stated attendance policy, grading system, and assignments. You will want to select class hours that best suit you within those limitations. Create a "Schedule Selection Checklist" based on these criteria.
CHAPTER 3 -- HELP!
Who and How
Easy Does It
Slackers understand how to network well. Their greatest resources include office staff, librarians, campus security, "good" students, and even "bad" students (e.g. other slackers and some athletes). These "bad" students can serve as excellent resources for the "dirt" on professors.
CHAPTER 4 -- THE TEN-MINUTE TERM PAPER
Writing the Paper: A Case Study
The phrase "ten-minute term paper" means spending ten minutes here and ten minutes there from the start of the semester to begin sketching and outlining the term paper. "Every minute spent planning frees up twenty for recreation and sleep." The judicious use of quotes lifted and properly cited from source books allows the slacker to "pick and 'pop'" them throughout the paper to give it a feel of substance. Excellent proofreading to perfection seals the deal on the winning term paper.
CHAPTER 5 -- THE SCIENCE OF EXCUSES
When You're Screwed, Dude
SOE: The Science of Excuses
Advanced SOE: The Soft Spot Technique
Expert slackers know how to fabricate convincing excuses and how to use a professor's "soft spot" to give an excuse great weight.
CHAPTER 6 -- ATTENDANCE -- DO YOU NEED IT?
Go or No?
Lessons from the Master
Tramps Like Us
The Slacker's Guide to Test Strategy
Making "win-win" contacts with classmates can allow you to skip classes without losing grade points, especially when you understand the best strategies for performing well on tests.
CHAPTER 7 -- ME? WORK?
The "J" Word
Parents will sometimes demand that you work while at school to help with cash flow. After exhausting every credible delaying tactic, consider slacker jobs. These include: deli worker, computer room monitor, intramural sport referee, and recreational complex monitor. If you write well and enjoy it, consider hiring yourself to other students as a writer of term papers, relying on "word of mouth" advertising.
CHAPTER 8 -- THE PARTY PRINCIPLE
What It All Means
Simplify Your Space
The Last Eviction
The strategies of this book grant you many extra hours per week to party. Conduct your parties in a fun but intelligent way. Simplify your living space so that you live nomadically and can move on a moment's notice, making sure you do not have your name on any lease or bill.