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 >>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the finance committee >>refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of >>the members knows how to play one. >> >>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... >>people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish >>were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em. >> >>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... when the pastor says, I'd >>like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering, five guys and two women >>stand up. >> >>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... >>opening day of Deer season is recognized as an official church holiday. >> >>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... a member of the church >>requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because It ain't never >>been in a hole it couldn't get out of. (Love it!) >> >>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the choir is known as the >>OK Chorale. >> >>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... in a congregation Of 500 >>members, there are only seven last names in the church directory. >> >>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... >>Baptism is referred to as branding. >> >>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... high notes on the organ >>set the dogs on the floor to howling. >> >>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... >>people think rapture is what you get when you lift something too heavy. >> >>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the baptismal pool is >>a #2 galvanized washtub. >> >>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the choir robes were >>donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue. >> >>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the collection plates are >>really hub caps from a '56 Chevy. >> >>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... >>instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call. >> >>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the minister and his wife >>drive matching pickup trucks. >> >>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the communion wine is >>Boone's Farm Tickled Pink. >> >>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... Thou shalt not covet >>applies to hunting dogs, too. >> >>You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the final words of the >>benediction are, >> >> Y'all come back, hear............ | ||||
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