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WOMEN'S ENGLISH / MEN'S ENGLISH

Sanctions: 41
Sanctions: 41
Sanctions: 41
Sanctions: 41
WOMENWOMEN'S ENGLISH

  1. Yes = No
  2. No = Yes
  3. Maybe = No
  4. We need . . .  = I want.
  5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
  6. We need to talk = I need to complain
  7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
  8. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
  9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead
11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like 

MEN'S ENGLISH

 1. I am hungry = I am hungry
 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
 3. I am tired = I am tired
 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
 5. I love you = Let's have sex now
 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
 7. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question
 8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
 9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have
       sex with you
13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with
       you within the next 3 minutes
14. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep
      person and then I'd like to have sex with you.
15. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

Added by Bob Palin
on 1/06/2006, 4:05pm

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