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 Causes of death for specific philosophers: a humorous take on philosophical thought.Aquinas: Last causes Aristotle: Excessive moderation Augustine: Hippo Ayer: Unverifiable Bacon, F: Hit by idol in market place Berkeley: Divine neglect Boole: Became inverted Bradley: Absolutely everything Buridan: Asinine starvation Calvin: Predestined Camus: Found exit Cassirer: Symbolic causes Castaneda: Indexical self-disguise Chomsky: Degenerative transformation Confucius: Lost his way Copernicus: Revolution Darwin: Became unfit Dawkins: Suicidal genes Democritus: Atomised Dennett: Lost consciousness Derrida: Deconstructed Descartes: Stopped thinking Diodorus: Mastered by the argument Diogenes: Exposure Einstein: Diced with God Epictetus: Crime of passion Epicurus: Nothing to worry about Feyerabend: Everything went Flew: Met the great equaliser Fodor: Fell off Granny's knee Foucault: Disempowered Frege: Fell under a concept Galileo: Stopped moving Gödel: Became incomplete Hegel: Gave up the Geist Heidegger: Not being in time Heisenberg: Uncertain causes Hempel: Explained away Heraclitus: Fell in the same river twice Hobbes: Nasty causes Hofstadter: Holistic trap Hume: Committed to the flames Husserl: Phenomenally bad luck Kant: Found the means to his own end Kierkegaard: Sick to death Korsgaard: Kant tell Kuhn: Paradigm lost Lacan: Lack Laplace: Prior arrangement Levi-Strauss: Eaten by natives Locke: No idea Lucretius: Bumped off Luther: Diet of worms Lyotard: Post post-modernism Mach: Unsensational causes Machiavelli: Intriguing causes Malcolm: Undreamed of causes Malebranche: Occasional causes Marx: Material causes Mill: Depsychologised Nagel, Ernest: Reduction Newton: Fluxions Nietzsche: Overpowered himself Pascal: The wagers of sin Passmore: 100 years of philosophy Pavlov: Reflexed Peacocke: Discontent Peirce: Abducted Penrose: Became computable Plato: Caved in Pollock: Defeated Popper: Falsified Pythagoras: Squared on the hypotenuse Quine: Became a free variable Rand, Ayn: Objectified Ramsey: Made redundant Rawls: Unveiled Rorty: No foundations Rousseau: Contract job Russell: Cut himself shaving Santayana: A thousand vexations and vanities Schopenhauer: Lack of will Skinner, B F: Bad behaviour Socrates: Consumption Spinoza: Substance abuse Turing: Failed his own test Weber: Overwork Wheeler: Manifold causes Whitehead: Procession Wittgenstein: Became the late Wittgenstein Zeno: Run over by tortoise | ||||
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