 A family in the Philippines was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother arrived from the USA, sent by their sister. The corpse was so tightly squeezed inside the coffin that their mother's face was practically touching the glass cover. When they opened the coffin, they found a letter from their sister pinned to their mother's chest, which read:
Dearest brothers and sisters, I am sending you our mother's remains for burial there in the Philippines. Sorry I couldn't come along as the expenses were so high.
You will find inside the coffin, under Mama's body, 12 cans of Libby's corned beef and 12 cans of Spam. Just divide it among yourselves. On Mama's feet is a brand-new pair of Reeboks for Junior. There are four pairs of Reeboks under Mama's head for Miloy's sons.
Mama is wearing six Ralph Lauren T-shirts -- one is for Manong Roy and the rest are for my nephews. Mama is also wearing one dozen Wonder Bras (your favorite), just divide it among yourselves. The 2 dozen Victoria's Secret panties that Mama is wearing should be distributed among my nieces and cousins.
Mama is also wearing eight Docker pants -- Kuya Diko, please get one for yourself and the rest are for the boys. The Swiss watch you asked for is on Mama's left wrist, please get it. Aunty Sol, Mama is wearing what you asked for - earrings, ring and necklace - just take them off.
The six pairs of Channel stockings that Mama is wearing must be divided among the teen-age girls there. I hope they like the colors.
Also, there are 4 boxes of Godiva chocolates under Mama. Make sure Tatong and Manong from Mama's side of the family get those.
Your loving sister,
Nene Marabelle Malou Abinsay-Antissipation
P.S. Please take care of finding a dress for Mama for her burial.
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