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 Why are the streets of Paris lined with trees?So the German Army could march in shade. How do you separate the men from the boys in France? With a crowbar. What do you call it when half the population of France flees north and the other flees south? The French Civil War. How many times has l'Arc de Triomphe (The Arch of Triumph) served its purpose? Twice...For the Germans. What's orange and red and looks good on a Frenchman? Fire. What did last year's deadly heat wave in France have to do with their space program? They intended to send documents of surrender to the Sun. Centuries ago--the last time France actually attempted to fight for something--Britain and France were engaged in battle. A British major was captured after the battle and taken to the French general. The Frenchie asks the Briton why they insist on wearing those eye-catching red-coats--it made them easier targets for even French riflemen. The British major replied in a steady, bland manner, that if an officer was shot, he could stay in the fight without his men seeing the blood and panicking at the sight of their stricken officer. And this is why, since that day, French officers have donned brown pants. ------- "I just love the French. They taste like chicken." --Hannibal Lector "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." --George Patton "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know." --P.J. O'Rourke ----- This one's a bit low-brow (me? No!) but I couldn't resist: Written on the door of a run-down Port-O-John I encountered while in the Army was the rhyme, "Here I sit, my buns a-clenchin', giving birth to another Frenchman." Adoo! . | ||||
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