Rebirth of Reason

Get Fit with God

Sanctions: 6
Sanctions: 6
Get Fit with GodI like Beachbody. No, really, I do. I got into excellent shape with their Power 90 and P90X programs. But I received this new product notice today via e-mail and nearly fell from my chair. I posted it as a joke but the product is absolutely real.

Body Gospel®

The inspirational Body Gospel workouts, set to chart-topping gospel music, combine the power of your faith with your desire to lose weight and get fit.

Give praise. Get RESULTS.

Body Gospel is a comprehensive fitness program that connects the power of your faith with your desire to lose weight and get fit. It includes fat-burning cardio workouts set to uplifting gospel music, muscle-firming resistance bands, and a complete nutrition plan created by inspirational fitness expert Donna Richardson Joyner to help you transform your body, mind, and spirit.

Order now and get Donna's 3-Day Jump-Start Plan to help you lose up to 3 pounds and 3 inches in just 3 days—guaranteed!

6 glorious workouts for a slimmer body and stronger spirit
Body Revival
Lift your spirit, slim your body, and feel energized all day long with this calorie-blasting cardio workout. (Approx. 35 mins.)
Power & Praise
Tone and define your muscles while you burn fat in this interval training workout that uses Donna's specially designed resistance bands. (Approx. 35 mins.)
Gospel Glory
Shrink your hips and thighs and flatten your tummy with this advanced body-slimming cardio workout. (Approx. 45 mins.)
Strength & Spirit
Sculpt and tone your body from head to toe. You'll alternate between strength and cardio training for maximum fat and calorie burning. (Approx. 55 mins.)
Core Revelation
Lose those love handles and define your abs while slimming and trimming your thighs and backside at the same time. (Approx. 20 mins.)
Stretch in the Spirit
Increase your flexibility, reduce stress, and breathe new life into your healthy temple. (Approx. 10 mins.)

Tools for tracking your progress
Total Transformation Guide
Track your progress with a 30-day workout calendar and inspiration journal, and read daily scripture to help strengthen your faith in God and yourself.
Feed Your Body, Feed Your Soul Nutrition Guide:
Lose weight, stay satisfied, and have more energy with Donna's delicious and filling recipes for meals and snacks.
Body Gospel Basic 10 Training Cards
Get a quick workout on the go—anytime, anyplace.
Body Gospel Bands
Sculpt and define long, lean muscles with these pro-grade resistance bands.
24/7 Online Access
Get training, nutrition tips, and amazing support from Donna and the Body Gospel community.

Plus 3 FREE Gifts
Bonus Workout – Stepping in the Spirit
Enjoy an inspirational walking workout set to uplifting gospel hits. (Approx. 20 mins.)
3-Day Jump-Start Plan
Lose up to 3 pounds and 3 inches in just 3 days with this safe yet effective quick-start program.
Bonus Workout – Body Gospel LIVE!
With this energetic, fun-filled workout to a live gospel choir, you'll be sweating in the spirit in no time! (Approx. 30 mins.)

30-Day Money-Back Guarantee
You have 30 days to try Body Gospel for yourself. If you don't get the results you want, simply return it within 30 days for a full refund of the purchase price (less s&h)—no questions asked. But keep the 3-Day Jump-Start Plan, Stepping in the Spirit, and Body Gospel LIVE! as Donna's gifts.

At least the product has a basis in reality rather than just "praying" the fat melts. I really do not know where to begin to mock this. Takers?

Added by Luke Setzer
on 6/02, 5:04am

Favorite EditSanction this JokeDiscuss this Joke (9 messages)