Rebirth of Reason

President Creates New Federal Agency

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Sanctions: 6
President Creates New Federal AgencyIn response to the tragedy in Colorado, President Obama signed Executive Order 44-720 this morning. This order will create a new federal agency under the Department of Homeland Security and establish security checkpoints at every movie theater in the United States. The president expects the first checkpoint to be in operation in about one year and all checkpoints in place before his wife's presidential run in 2016.

President Obama said this will have a huge economic benefit, reducing the unemployment rate to near zero.

The new agency has not been given an official name. Provided Congress approves, there will be a naming contest. The winner will be awarded a prize of $5,000,000. In addition there will be 800,000 runner-up prizes of $1,000,000 each. When a member of the press asked why there were going to be so many large runner-up prizes, Obama responded, "We have to spread the wealth, don't we?"
Added by Merlin Jetton
on 7/21, 6:01am

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