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1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stop brightideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. 5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. 9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. 11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 12. Glibido: All talk and no action. 13. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 14. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. And the pick of the literature: 17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. | ||||
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