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He walks into the kitchen and finds his favorite breakfast on the table, and his son sitting nearby. The man looks confused and asks, "What happened last night? I don't remember a thing." The son says, "You came home real late last night, dad. And you were all drunk and stuff."
The man asks, "But what happened when I got home?" The son says, "You couldn't walk straight and kept falling over."
"And then what happened?"
"You knocked over a few chairs and banged your head against the wall."
"But.... why'd your mom make me my favorite breakfast this morning?"
"Oh that. That's because when mom went to get you changed last night, you said, 'Don't touch me bitch, I'm married!'"