| | Why did the chicken cross the road?
Descartes: Since the chicken does not really exist it was only an illusion that the chicken crossed the road. This illusion was only in my mind. Therefore I created the chicken that crossed the road.
Steve Jobs: Because of the brand-new iChicken- a portable device that crosses roads, lays eggs, gives wakeup calls and provides dinner, automatically. This amazing device can simply plug in to the $4000 iCoop to produce additional iChickens and recharge existing iChickens, or plug it into the $9000 iChop to convert iChicken files into iFood. iFood-to-Regular Food converters sell for an additional $50/month fee, however the optional iFood-to-FoodXP converter is still in development. iChickens are only available from authorized iDealers, which can be found in nearly every US state. If your iChicken develops a disease or stops working, you must send it by FedEx Overnight to Littleton, Montana and our iTechnicians will send you a replacement within 3 months. The iChicken. Wow.
Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Hume: Out of custom and habit.
Epicurus: For fun.
Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.
John Locke: Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.
Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
The Egyptian Sphinx: You tell me.
Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Hemingway: To die. In the rain. Alone.
Captain Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Colonel Sanders: I missed one?
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