Would an unmarried Objectivist couple who choose to practice abstinence until marriage be a "bad" couple?
No, of course not. But the question is would they be "right" in abstaining and they would not. Because they are Objectivist we know that they are not abstaining for religious reasons. Let's assume that the "reasons" that occupy their minds are related to the subjects presented above: temporary hormonal surges being bad, the possibilities of pregnancy, the possibility of STDs, and that they see sexual activity as diminishing their capacity to reason. And in Luke's post, it is not just sex, but falling in love that gets indicted as a conspiracy of the genes, aided by some collectivist ends of society. The fact is that our purpose for living - from the perspective of individualism - is the positive experiences, that is, the good feelings, the passions, the happiness, the joys, the pleasures, the contentment and the pride that life can offer as experiences. Love is an exhilarating form of sharing a personal universe with another self. It is a celebration and intense experience of some of our deepest values and a joining with another's sense of life. It offers a positive, intense, clear and in-depth form psychological visibility. Sex is the physical and emotional celebration of that love. Even without love, sex can be a powerful physical rush. So, unless someone comes up with rational arguments for negative side effects that out-weigh those enormous values, we have to say that love and sex are good - are great! 1. Because sex is wired into the very heart of our physical and evolutionary being does not make it bad. Because our bodies, and under certain circumstances, societies are powerful cheerleaders for love and union is just an attending fact, and not a reason to reject things that would be of value even if biological evolution and social ends were opposed. 2. Consequences: We are biological beings, but we also possess science and technology. Unwanted pregnancies and STDs are no longer delivered by the fickled finger of fate, but only by bad judgement. No one should be deterred from seeking great values by the very small risks that rational approaches to sex provide. 3. Because many (or even most) sexual encounters are between people who are far less than mature than they should be, and even if most sexual encounters should not have happened, it is not a reason to say, "Because others are not behaving maturely and having sex, I'll choose to not have sex even though I am mature." That makes no sense. 4. Our job in the area of focusing our consciousness is not just about where to focus (subject matter), or how intensely, or to always be open to catching any attempts to avoid/deny/rationalize instead of thinking (self-aware).... It is also to focus in a way that is appropriate to the context. When you are with someone you love and sharing a special romantic moment, the kind of focus one seeks, the kind of focus that is most appropiate to the context and the rational purpose of happiness, is a soft, diffuse kind of focus that allows the feelings and emotions and sensations of closeness and love and pleasure to be most intensely experienced. When one has sex, it would not be appropriate to bring to that moment the same kind of conscious focus that is used to sit for a test in Calculus 101. 5. Does the blood rush of hormonal activities stop us from being in control of our actions? No. Some people choose to behave, and even to believe that they no longer were in control, and that they were in the power of atavistic forces of the blood. But that's not true (unless the person is psychotic). Often, people do use this as an excuse, and in different ways. One type, allows themselves to develop patterns of impulsive behavior where reason and emotion conflict and they choose to adopt this excuse as rationalization. Another type has grown up in such a way that the child they once were acquired fears, maybe of intimacy, or strong emotions, or fears of commitment... actually of a huge range of things. And they find rationalizations to put between themselves and those conditions that subconsiously trigger deep-set fears. They stay away from some kinds of risks. Least anyone get the wrong impression, I'm not describing Luke. We are all different and there is a good reason that psychologizing is unadvisable. But he asked the question about abstaining from sex, and perhaps even romantic love and this has been my answer to that.
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