Here we are 13+ years later ... I think you could make a 4-square chart of Character vs Utility and Objectivist vs Secular and be surprised where you put the people you know.
I know very few Objectivists at all, and those only online. I have not much Utility need for other people. One of my hobbies is numismatics, and I do go to local meetings, for instance, but I have no "numismatic friends" to whom I would turn for "numismatic advice" or "numismatic support." The same is true of my other active hobby, astronomy. I was a member of the local club for two years. I even placed half a dozen articles in the newsletter in addition to interviewing half a dozen local leading lights to record their contributions, histories, and views on the future of the hobby. I let my membership lapse and never talked to anyone from there again. We have Objectivist Meet-ups here in Austin. I have been to maybe a dozen in the last six years, attending in clusters of involvement. As much as I enjoyed the intellectual engagement, I did not make any friends.
But I do have friends of character. Many of their personal values are very different from mine. We met through the Texas Military Department. Not one is an atheist, an egoist, or an individualist (though a couple say that they are "libertarian"). They understand and accept duty, which Ayn Rand roundly condemned (though not in her speech at West Point). But they have character. They have personal integrity, i.e., they are morally integrated. Just for one aspect, millions of Americans are "patriotic" but only 1% of them serve. These friends of mine do not serve blindly. They are educated, literate, thinking, conscious people who have been or are operationally successful in life outside of the military. (Not everyone in uniform merits my approval. We have our slackers; but they stand out as individuals who are in the wrong place; and no one likes a goldbrick.) You can have all kinds of faults. I know that I do: one of my NCOs showed me a picture of myself in uniform on the "Foxhole Atheists" website. He does not approve of my metaphysics, but he still invited me out for beer. I am smart and I work hard and when I am wrong I fix it. To me, those are aspects of my character that supersede any social utility I might have demonstrated by walking papers from office to office.