|Thanks, Luke! I learned that technique in sales training many long years ago. |
It does not work so well here, where we come specifically to address core issues. Nonetheless, Givens's point is well made.
Allow me to also recommend Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher and William L. Ury.
Members of the Harvard Negotiation Project, Fisher and Ury focused on the psychology of negotiation in their method, "principled negotiations", finding acceptable compromise by determining which needs are fixed and which flexible for negotiators.
[I point out that this is a key: people simply may not or purposely do not reveal the true negotiating point. For instance, in numismatics, we might argue "price" when what is really at issue is grade.]
By 1987, the book had been adopted in several school districts to help students understand "non-adversarial bargaining".
[The problem is basic: when we disagree, we fall back to a me-versus-you dialog. But, most often, both parties want the same thing - a deal on some terms - or they would not be talking. The authors explain how this also applies to hostage situations.]
In 1991, the book was issued in a second edition with Bruce Patton, an editor of the first edition, listed as a co-author. The book became a perennial best-seller. By July 1998, it had been appearing for more than three years on Business Week's "Best-Seller" book list. As of December 2007, it was still making appearances on the list as one of the "Longest Running Best Sellers" in paperback business books.
This book was recommended to our numismatic educational seminar by a lawyer for Heritage Auctions.
One of the many, many insights was that when you negotiate, do not sit opposite the other person. Sit on the same side of the table.