RoR: Forum

Matthew,

When you ask a lawyer what his rates are, you must first ask whether he's going to work for you or against you :-).

Jim

Post 1

Friday, June 24, 2005 - 1:44pm

You are stranded on a desert island with Attila the Hun, Adolf Hitler and a lawyer. You have a gun with only two bullets. Whom do you shoot?

The lawyer, twice.

Post 2

Friday, June 24, 2005 - 2:38pm

A doctor, an engineer, and a lawyer were walking their dogs in the park. The doctor said let me show you what my dog, Stethoscope, can do. So he calls him up: Here Stethoscope! Within five minutes Stethoscope had gathered up enough bones to fabricate the perfect model of a human skeleton. The engineer says: that's nothing. Here Sliderule! Within five minutes Sliderule had gathered up enough bones to create a perfect model of the Golden Gate Bridge.

The lawyer said: That's nothing. Here Loophole! Within five minutes Loophole had screwed the other two dogs and gathered up all their bones :-).

Jim

Post 3

Sunday, June 26, 2005 - 2:21am

Good story with smart thinking.

Yang

Post 4

Sunday, June 26, 2005 - 2:36am

I am wondering that the lawyer is really so hateful? Even more than all the other evil things?

I'd be very appreciate if someone kindly let me know.

Yang

Post 5

Sunday, June 26, 2005 - 2:12pm

No Wen, they aren't hateful. Just an easy target for some pretty funny jokes :-) !

Jim

Post 6

Sunday, June 26, 2005 - 3:38pm

Hi Wen,

Welcome to Solo.

LOL...(that means Laughing Out Loud in posts and messengers - and in my case it ALWAYS means laughing benevolently, not sarcastically).

Targeting lawyers is a very American-type humor. I wish I could explain it in one easy lesson, but it is an acquired taste. Just keep your eyes and ears open and you will start to see why.

To address your confusion, there are many honorable men and women who are lawyers and do good valuable work. There are many also who use technicalities of the law to obtain unfair advantages and they tend to overcharge their clients. That is where the humor starts.

I hope you enjoy this site. I sure do. Good to see you here.

Michael

Post 7

Wednesday, June 29, 2005 - 8:05pm

Hi Michael,

Thank you for your kind reply. So nice to see you here. I'm sure to enjoy this site very much.

Wen

Post 8

Thursday, June 30, 2005 - 9:59am

Not that I am humorless about lawyers, only that I have a different set of priorties.

So the doctor and the lawyer are standing at the punchbowl at a party, chatting, and this matron comes up to the doctor and begins telling him her problems and asking for advice. The doctors begs off and begs off, asking her to make an appointment, but she keeps on pressing him, and finally, he tells to take one aspirin with seltzer and go to bed. She thanks him and waddles off. So, he turns to the lawyer and says, "I think I should send her a bill, don't you?" (The rest of the exercise is left for the student.)

Post 9

Friday, August 5, 2005 - 8:41pm