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Post 0

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 - 10:35pmSanction this postReply
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Uh, Marty, I'm a pilot and I'm afraid to tell ya that this doesn't fly. Pray tell, how do they land the thing? :-)

--Brant


Post 1

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 1:57amSanction this postReply
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Caught me!

;-)


Post 2

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 3:49amSanction this postReply
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Automatic pilot?

Post 3

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 5:19amSanction this postReply
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Same way.

Post 4

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 5:28amSanction this postReply
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Robert Malcom:  Automatic pilot?

Some airliners do have an Autoland feature, that will take an aircraft from altitude to the runway without pilot intervention.  I've never heard of it being used below 2000' AGL, though, at least not on a commercial flight. 

There's an old joke about autoland:

(On a crab sheet)

Pilot:                         Autoland feature needs tuning; yields rough landing.
Maintenance Crew:  Autoland feature not installed on this aircraft.

;o)


Post 5

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 7:27amSanction this postReply
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This joke is a great metaphor for the way many people think and philosophically "fly" in their own lives - at least the ones who actually get off the ground.

Michael



Post 6

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 8:18amSanction this postReply
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Summer - that was a not so serious remark, tho it is true that blind persons have been talked down safely, albeit in a small craft, not a jetliner [happened at least once here in Tampa a few years ago]... but yes, have heard there is such a thing as an automatic landing, tho it probably is only in developmental stage.

Post 7

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 8:25amSanction this postReply
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Robert Malcom:  but yes, have heard there is such a thing as an automatic landing, tho it probably is only in developmental stage.



Actually, many airliners are equipped with the autoland feature, and have been for years.  It simply isn't accepted practice (or legal?) for it to be used to land an aircraft on its own (the pilot is expected to disengage the system at 2000' AGL or higher -- I think).   

I'm only a lowly private pilot and not an ATP, so I may well be full-O-beans on the particulars. 


Did a little web-snooping;  the following have autoland capabilities:

Airbus A320
Concorde
Boeing 767
Boeing 777

It's likely that there are many others, as that type of technology is (or can be) retrofit into older aircraft along with other, prerequisite avionics/guidance systems (inertial/GPS).

(Edited by Summer Serravillo on 8/24, 8:33am)


Post 8

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 8:31amSanction this postReply
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Actually,

They could have landed assisted by the airport control staff.

In fact, they would have needed them to take off also.


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Post 9

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 8:34amSanction this postReply
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> this doesn't fly. Pray tell, how do they land the thing? :-)

People on the left side of the cabin scream if the wing is tilted toward the ground on their side.

People on the right scream if too low on their side.

Everyone screams if they are nowhere near the runway.

Seeing eye dog barks if they are about to plow into a skyscraper.

Dead silence means they are low and level and coming in fine or if everyone is dead.

Post 10

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 10:03amSanction this postReply
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This is beginning to read like a Monty Python script.

Post 11

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 10:23amSanction this postReply
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This is beginning to read like a Monty Python script.


"Listen. In order to maintain airspeed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?"

"Please!"

"Am I right?"

"I'm not interested!"...

;o)


Post 12

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 10:39amSanction this postReply
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Automatic landing:

The pilot goes to the bathroom until the airplane comes in to land (unless over water).

--Brant


Post 13

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 12:00pmSanction this postReply
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Wait a sec, Brant, you said you're a pilot. How does the automatic pilot help you land successfully in water?

Post 14

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 8:20pmSanction this postReply
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Successfully?

--Brant


Post 15

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 8:23pmSanction this postReply
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Brant-
Cessna 172.  Engine failure.  Do you take a grove of soft pines or water?


Post 16

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 11:08pmSanction this postReply
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Grove of SOFT pines? Plese. Softwood isn't soft.

If I'm alone, water. I can swim, sort of.

If passengers? Water. Assuming it's SOFT water!

You know there isn't a right answer to your question. For instance, if you have a lot of fuel water is the best choice to cut the risk of fire.

All other things being equal? They never are.

Too many variables.

Look, we are trying to be funny here!!! You want SERIOUS? How do we defend our perimeter against a ground assault by the North Vietnamese?

Puff the Magic Dragon lived by the sea, spewing .30 cal machine gun bullets every 6-8 inches! Don't forget the napalm!

Barbed wire! Claymnore mines! interacting zones of fire!

Pulese! Let's get back to funny; I can't do it on my own!

How about restarting the damn engine! GaLT'S gULTCH Ahead!

--Brant


Post 17

Friday, August 26, 2005 - 11:00amSanction this postReply
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http://abclocal.go.com/wls/news/strange/082505_ap_sn_pilot.html

Guess someone forgot to scream.


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