RoR: Forum

My younger, machismo, vigilante-side makes me want to arm myself and some 'friends' to the teeth and go to this Lake Falcon for some good ole'-fashioned "street justice" -- er, I guess I should say for some "lake justice"?

Just think about it ... Me, Johnny "Big Guns" Armaos, Merlin "Jet-ski" Jetton, Freddy "Trigger Finger" Bartlett, Steve "The Wolfman" Wolfer, Deano "No Mercy" Gores, Pete "Battle Ready" Reidy, Jimmy "Hawaiin Terror" Henshaw, Robby "The Madman" Malcom, Luke "The Terminator" Setzer, and Billy "The California Kid" Dwyer ...

... all on jet-skis ...

... with dual, front-mounted 50-caliber machine guns ...

... with swivel-mounted "Objective Individual Combat Weapons (OICW)" ...

... with rear-dropped floating mines ...

... all suited up in kevlar ...

... all shot up with epinephrine, deprenyl, hydergine, and pramiracetam ...

... putting large holes in any armed Mexicans we find ...

Whoa. I've got to take an anti-testosterone pill or something, because I'm actually starting to get all worked up about this.

:-)

Ed

Post 1

Tuesday, October 5, 2010 - 6:55pm

Tuesday, October 5, 2010 - 7:57pm

How about Dean "Death Machine" Gores? :O Theme song: Dethklok Dethharmonic.

Post 3

Tuesday, October 5, 2010 - 8:39pm

Robbie the madman - good one - have to remember that... ;-)

Post 4

Tuesday, October 5, 2010 - 9:24pm

Yeah, Dean.

"Death Machine" -- spelled "Deth Masheen" in order to garnish more "street cred" -- is much better.

By the way, I forgot to mention that our jet-skis will be titanium-plated (so the Mexicanas can't shoot our fuel tanks). We'll be using Kawasaki's 1500-cc/260-hp personal watercraft** for this "job":

**0-30mph in 1.8 seconds; 70mph top speed

We've got to make sure that we all learn how to handle such a powerful machine on the water. I've ridden the 255-hp SeaDoo (launches right out of the water!), so I'll have to take all 10 of you guys out for a few hours of training first. Oh yeah, and we need to get some "field time" with the swivel-mounted weapon (the dual machine guns and mines will be button-operable from the handlebars). Here is the weapon that will be swivel-mounted just in front of the handle-bars:

It has regular "assault rifle" firing capacity and an adjustable-range, explosive shell/grenade-launcher. The Mexicans pirates -- in their ongoing predation on Americans -- have been using regular fishing boats (12-18 feet long), so just one explosive shell would take out a whole boat. If we take out a few boats in one day, that would send a message to the Mexican drug cartels that you don't mess with Americans like this.

Ed

p.s. I'm still working on finding a company that will swivel-mount these things onto a personal watercraft. You have to use a small company so as not to alert the "Feds." Heck, just coming up with the cash for 11 of these Kawasaki machines is going to run me into 6-figures -- and I'll have to buy them individually from 11 different Kawasaki dealers with locations spread out across the country. I don't know why I'm all concerned about the Feds, anyway. They'd probably welcome the "help" that we are going to give them in dealing with the threat of Mexican drug cartels.

Anyway, now I'm starting to ramble ...

Post 5

Wednesday, October 6, 2010 - 11:00am

Actually, Robert, "Machine Gun" Malcom sounds better, don't you think?

Ed

Post 6

Wednesday, October 6, 2010 - 7:18pm

Boys have all the fun.

Post 7

Thursday, October 7, 2010 - 7:57am

Teresa,

I'm sure that members of my vigilante group (now dubbed "Ocean's 11") will be delighted to have you jet-skiing and machine-gunning side-by-side with us, but here is the catch: you need a 'thug-life' name. I was thinking of this one:

Teresa "the Michigan Marauder" Isanhart

If the name suits you, then I will go ahead and purchase the 12th jet ski and include you on the training roster ...

Ed

Post 8

Thursday, October 7, 2010 - 9:59am

Or I could just stay 'n bake cookies for when you guys get back.

Post 9

Thursday, October 7, 2010 - 4:02pm

:-)

Tres,

Actually, I'm going to need someone to deal with "the Press." Folks like John Stossel will probably want to schedule an interview with us after we "take out" our first few boatloads of these Mexican rights-violators. I'm sure that Obama will speak out against it -- claiming that we cling to guns and the protection of individual rights (as if those things, in themselves, are "bad"). I'm going to need someone in charge of PR for this kind of undertaking.

Would you be my PR specialist?

Ed

Post 10

Friday, October 8, 2010 - 3:08am

Absolutely. And I know a great makeup and costume person who can keep your identities totally hidden.

Post 11

Friday, October 8, 2010 - 4:52pm

Yes, you bring up a good point.

We should keep things on the "down-low" -- not calling too much attention to ourselves. If word gets out about our plan, there may be several 'copycat' groups out there, both willing and able to perform this jurisprudent undertaking before we even lift a finger ...

Ed

Post 12

Wednesday, October 13, 2010 - 5:13am