| | I left religion twice -- initially during my freshman year in college and later during my senior college year -- falling back into it after my first departure because I could find no coherent "replacement" philosophy to guide my thoughts and actions. Developing a rigorous personal philosophy is hard work and not for the faint of heart! I was also very lonely, got tired of trying to sort my thoughts in solitude, and found the warmth, security, and familiarity of the church all too alluring. Still, my sense of rationality continued to gnaw at me even as I went through the motions of trying to "believe." My last year of college was a troubling time for my soul. I would sit in the pew and listen patiently and courteously with the other "sheep" to the sermon, but my mind would scream, "No! No! NO! NO! NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"
I will always be grateful to the person who loaned me The Virtue of Selfishness shortly before college graduation even if he was not an Objectivist himself.
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