 The French have big problems. They had to do away with all vending machines in their school systems because of obesity. No more snack cakes, no more candy, no more soda. It's all part of the French master plan to raise healthier cowards. Nice to know the French are finally taking a stand against somebody and it's Little Debbie. You're not going to see that pig-tailed vixen coming through the Arc de Triomphe on top of a Panzer.
Dennis Miller
The O'Reilly Factor 1/20/10
You ever come across raccoons in the outdoor trash can at 11:30 or so at night? As soon as they're exposed by the beam of the flashlight . . . they turn on you with fangs and paws and let you know what follows will be a short conversation with very little talking involved. Currently, climate scientists are raccoons hip-deep in statistical garbage and you should approach them with caution because they are unarmed (with facts) and dangerous.
Dennis Miller
Swingin' Copenhagen
Liberals objecting to learning by yourself is just like Munchausen's by proxy — they need you to appreciate them and they need the attention.
Dennis Miller
Comedy Central
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