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Post 40

Monday, January 17, 2005 - 6:42pmSanction this postReply
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Very well said, Joe.  You were able to articulate very clearly the things I was not.

Jon, I realize you did say that.  My meaning, however, was from the opposite end of the spectrum.  :)


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Post 41

Monday, January 17, 2005 - 7:07pmSanction this postReply
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Joe,

Since this discussion started on the thread relevant to Jennifer's article, I will quote from that thread in responding to your post, since most of the points you raise were already raised in the discussion between myself and Hong Zhang on the previous thread.

First, the claim that some here wish to treat the child as though it were an adult is a straw man. The real claim is that the child needs to be treated as a developing human, and methods appropriate to raising a puppy - or, to use Linz's example from the previous thread, a bear cub - fail to develop the species-specific capabilities of the child's emerging human consciousness. For example, if a puppy tries to touch a hot stove, giving it a quick slap is appropriate. When a human infant tries to touch a hot stove, the more human-appropriate parental action is to get a tight hold on the infant first, so you can yank him away fast when he has touched it, and then let him touch the stove, and yank him away before his burn becomes serious. The human, unlike the puppy, can learn that his actions have their natural consequences - and he can learn it from the consequences directly, without interventions that would encourage an unhealthy habit of obedience to authority.

We are not talking about pain-free parenting. In fact, natural consequences are often more physically painful to the child then getting spanked. As I wrote in the previous thread, "About your example of a small child running into the street. I did that twice. The first time, my father told me, "If you don't look where you are running, you can fall and hurt yourself." The second time, I fell on something and cut my forehead open. After he cleaned and stitched the cut, I started thinking about how come he could predict such things, and I decided it would be neat if I could too. That's when I started asking lots of questions." If he had spanked me or slapped me the first time, I could have avoided the pain - and the scar that I still have on my forehead - but I would have missed a lesson that was much more important to my development as a human child.

Nor are we talking about bringing up the child without appropriate, effective punishment when that punishment is the natural consequence of the child's action. As I wrote on the previous thread, I remember resenting my younger brother, born when I was two, and once I hit his crib and broke a latch. My father fixed it, and I asked him how it worked. He said, "Explanations are for men of the mind. Wait until you've decided to be one." He later told me that it took me half a day to decide, but I stuck by my decision since then.

Some of the memes involved in obedience-free parenting may be cultural, and in other cultures parents accept an alleged necessity to spank because their culture does not give them obedience-free tools for growing a child. Hong Zheng wrote, "There have been quite a few times that I got fed up with my son, and I used my last resort "OK, I'll let Daddy deal with you!" I am very fortunate that my husband is a very rational guy. His mere presence and uncompromising manner have always been very effective. He can subdue any little moron without ever resort to force. (Maybe it is because he has the same heritage as you? He is Jewish and from Russia)." I would venture to say yes, that is exactly why. So I would urge parents to look at the results of different ways of parenting - and maybe read the books of Haim Ginott (which you don't have to be Jewish to read and use) before you give in to some alleged necessity of smacking, spanking etc.

Post 42

Monday, January 17, 2005 - 7:19pmSanction this postReply
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Lindsay wrote above (post #0):-

>>  But you know, here in NZ, which has a lot wrong with it, we have two commonsense laws that have worked well for decades: one making it an offence (& allowing the state to step in) to fail to provide a child with the "necessaries of life"; and the other specifically *allowing* the use of "reasonable force" in disciplining a child.

Here is an example of that law in action from today's NZ Herald:-

Mother of baby left in hot car faces several charges
 
18.01.05 3.10pm
 
The mother of a baby boy found in a locked car in sweltering 30degC plus heat near Gisborne may be charged with assaulting the boy's rescuer and obstructing police.
Senior Sergeant Maui Aben said the rescuer who broke into the car at Makarori Beach on Saturday to take out the nine-month-old baby was an off-duty ambulance officer.

The mother may also be charged with failing to provide the necessaries of life. Mr Aben said charges were still pending.

He could not give other information about what police believed happened at the beach to make them consider laying the three charges. Police believe the boy had been left in the car for more than an hour. He was unconscious when he was pulled out of the car, but was released from Gisborne Hospital on Sunday.

- NZPA



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Post 43

Monday, January 17, 2005 - 9:48pmSanction this postReply
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OK, looks like everyone is stunned to silence by the sudden materialization of me. ;-)

Equipped with half baked English and half baked philosophy, I have campaigned tirelessly for the post of SOLO Parenting Leader. Now that I've won, I am going to start off at the Parenting forum with two burning topics that I have been thinking about for quite a while:

First, why do you love your child? Is it love at first sight? How can you rationalize this love in the context of Objectivism?

Second, is child rearing an altruistic act?

I am posting my thoughts on the first topic now and will post on the second topic hopefully by tomorrow. I hope everyone here sign up and join the discussion on parenting. If you are not a parent yourself, you at least have parents and have been child once. So obviously everyone should have their own opinions on these issues.

For parents, here I specially salute career Mr. Mom Jon Letendre, the Parenting forum is also a perfect place for your ceaseless bragging about your kids, which would have been considered obnoxious by many non-parents. We'll be happy to hear any achievement your child has accomplished, from saying "da" to being able to tie his/her shoelaces.

See you all at SOLO Parenting!


(This ad is paid for by SOLOists for Hong Zhang Foundation).


Post 44

Monday, January 17, 2005 - 9:52pmSanction this postReply
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Hong! 

It's so wonderful to see you at last!  And just in time for your new position as SOLO's #1 Mom.  :)  Congrats.

Jon, for the record, Hong is much prettier than you.  ;)


Jennifer


Post 45

Monday, January 17, 2005 - 11:19pmSanction this postReply
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Great to see you Hong.

Regarding “ceaseless” bragging: It was one post, in direct response to Jennifer’s salute to my parenting, subject to more information on its actual results. As for those who might have found it obnoxious, they should remind themselves of the virtue of pride, and then examine their problem with mine without me in the picture.

May I ask why the parenting group is not limited to parents, or at least aspiring ones? That we all have parents and once were children is a little like saying I should join the Cardiovascular Roundtable since I do, after all, have a beating heart. I’d like to see it at least limited to persons who have investigated into the matter. As it is frustrating and unproductive, I’m anticipating little pleasure in debating issues with people who think that some intelligence is a good enough substitute for knowledge.

Congrats on the new role!

Jon


Post 46

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 6:55amSanction this postReply
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Jennifer,

I think the #1 SOLO mom has to go to Tenya McCambell - she has 5 kids and she herself is a career lawyer! I just have a bit more spare time at hand.

(Edited by Hong Zhang on 1/18, 6:57am)


Post 47

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 7:07amSanction this postReply
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Jon,
I was joking about your "obnoxious bragging"! And the comment is directed at all bragging parents, including myself. Here "your" is plural. Frankly I myself can't get enough of those stories.

As it is frustrating and unproductive, I’m anticipating little pleasure in debating issues with people who think that some intelligence is a good enough substitute for knowledge.

You do have a  point here. I also sometimes feel that debating the parenting issues with non-parents is like playing on an uneven ground. But I think that as long as all sides check their premise, use their reason, and engage in rational debates, it should be fine.

(Edited by Hong Zhang on 1/18, 7:40am)


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Post 48

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 8:11amSanction this postReply
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John Letendre:

"...She could have simply taken away the scout meeting. That would have served her purpose. She could have imposed chores; she could have done any number of things to teach him the principle. What she chose was a two-option alternative, with a week during which to choose between missing a meeting or being aggressed to physical pain by Mother.

What she did worked. I just have a problem with what I see as a bizarre notion: That when dealing with a rational mind, pain is preferable to other non-violent negatives which this boy would have grasped equally well and the lesson would have been equally effective."

The 'spankers' are not advocating spanking as a sole or preferred method of teaching or disciplining a child. But there are children who are so strong willed that no amount of punishment which fails to cause some discomfort is going to get their attention. A parent fails in his or her parental responsibility when he or she cannot ensure that a child had learned right and wrong, and a respect for rules and the rights of others. How can we ever have a Libertarian society if we do not agree on this? So, if we do agree on this, then what do we do when Johnny breaks the neighbor's windows? Ok, we give him a time out. But then let's say he will not sit in the corner, or stay in his room. Let's say he turns on the television the minute you are out of the room. Let's say you take away his videogame and he breaks you lamp. Or you make him sit in a corner, and instead, he screams, throws his body on the floor, throws things, and generally has a temper tantrum?

How many hours every day are you supposed to calmly explain anything to the little bastard? Should every parent with a difficult child quit their jobs? That's clearly ludicrous. As the wage earner and leader and support of the family, the PARENT'S needs come first, and THEN the child's.

Children do not possess fully rational minds. They aren't adults. You wouldn't treat a child's digestive tract like an adults (the baby will have the steak and a glass of wine...), so why ignore this even dealing with cognitive issues? They are immature precisely because they have not been exposes to the data and have not built connections between the data, as adults have. Neuroligists will even tell you that their brains have not even developed to resemble a full adult stature. That is why being rational with an adult works, and it doesn't with a child.

My sister has 2 kids--a girl, and a boy. The girl came first. My sister only ever had to raise her voice a bit and her daughter complied, and she was and is a wonderful girl. He recent son is a little bastard (understand, the 'little bastard' as I use it here is s term of endearment begun, as I understand it, by some DeSAlvo of generations past). The behaviors above are some direct excerpts from his little, short, irrational life. My sister gives him teeny, tiny taps on his bottom. They get his attention, but aren't really giving him a negative consequence. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING else even gets his attention. Now, she has on occasion, given him a good cracxk on the ass, and you know what? It gets his attention, and it stops him from doing whatever he was doing, and has actually begun to get him to respect her when she says "NO." If you or anyone else suggests that the kid should be on medication, I'll punch you in the nose. We have a long, proud Italian tradition in my family of either having kids who are very obedient (vast majority, thank goodness) or the rare few who are little bastards. This kid, and my father, were both little bastards. I had my moments. Don't put the cart before the horse--the lives and convenience of the parents are paramount in the parent child relationship. A crack on the ass is a good thing.

I advocate drawing an arbitrary line past which violence to children is criminal. It is an easy line to draw, if you try. Spanking your kid doesn't cross it. Breaking a bone, burning with cigarettes, come one, what the heck, no brainer.

Here's another thought. Respecting others is a good habit to learn in the relatively consequence-free eniron of your home. When Johhny Do-No-Wrong goes out into the real world, he is going to be in shock while some guy at a bar beats his ass as he tries to reason with him. When he goes to high school, he will be terrified at the irrationality and violence that is endemic to the human condition as it exists in the real world. Look around you--the world is a barbaric, violent place. Gentlemen do not prefer the use of violence, but they know it is out there, and they know it may be used against them, and how common it is. Don't brainwash you kid into thinking it is not. Let him understand violence before you throw him out into the world.

The "No Spank" gang is unwittingly a part of the headless conspiracy to get government into every aspect of our lives. This group is winning.

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Post 49

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 9:46amSanction this postReply
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Scott,

In post 41 I wrote, "the claim that some here wish to treat the child as though it were an adult is a straw man. The real claim is that the child needs to be treated as a developing human, and methods appropriate to raising a puppy - or, to use Linz's example from the previous thread, a bear cub - fail to develop the species-specific capabilities of the child's emerging human consciousness." And then I grounded this in facts from my own experience.

In post 48 you write, "Children do not possess fully rational minds. They aren't adults. You wouldn't treat a child's digestive tract like an adults (the baby will have the steak and a glass of wine...), so why ignore this even dealing with cognitive issues?" and so on."

Repeating previous arguments in a conversation, as though those arguments had never been addressed by the other side, is pathological. It could well be that a child with such pathologies would not be responsive to the more human-appropriate parenting methods I outlined. In that case, methods ordinarily more appropriate to puppies or bears could well be all that remains available. Context, etc.

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Post 50

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 9:47amSanction this postReply
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Good points here from a number of contributors - especially Adam and Jon ;-)

Hong,

Congratulations on the new position :-)

Joe,

No one that I'm aware of has argued that parents shouldn't stop a child running off of a cliff or electrocuting himself (or running into traffic or whatever). The way I look at it, the parents exercise the child's rights on behalf of the child and in the child's interest, so of course they can stop him killing himself. That doesn't to me mean that they also have a right to spank the child, nor do I think the same argument applies to every punishment - corporal punishment is the deliberate infliction of physical and emotional distress on the child. That's generally not true of time outs or any of the stuff Adam and Jon have talked about.

So the point is, the arguments given against spanking so far seem to suggest a much wider issue, since they are arguments against any interference in the physical or mental autonomy of the child.  When stated in general terms, it should be obvious that this is untenable.
No, they are not arguments against any interference with the autonomy of the child, as I've explain repeatedly.

A child wouldn't survive if anyone was foolish enough to follow that principle. 

Surprisingly enough, I actually agree :-)

 
So then, what's the big deal about spanking or smacking your child?
I've explained that one several times too, as has Barbara, Adam, Jon etc etc etc.

Scott,

A parent fails in his or her parental responsibility when he or she cannot ensure that a child had learned right and wrong, and a respect for rules and the rights of others. How can we ever have a Libertarian society if we do not agree on this?

Many of the parents on this thread have given examples of other ways of ensuring the right lessons are learnt. How can we have a libertarian society when children are told that the initiation of force is bad, but the slightest refusal to follow a parent's commands results in force being initiated on them? And don't give me the claptrap that the child is entirely dependent on the parent and therefore the parent may demand almost anything of the child - the child didn't choose to be in that position, the parents did (I think someone else may have made this or a similar point but can't find the post). As for the kid breaking a neighbour's window, assuming it was not an accident, how about explaining to the child that the breakage must be paid for, and deduct it out of his pocket money? Whether one parent should quit their jobs and stay at home with the kids is not my decision, but parents do choose to have children, and ought to know it is a major responsibility.

As for "arbitrary government limits", don't we have quite enough of those already?

Regards,
MH


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Post 51

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 11:35amSanction this postReply
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"Repeating previous arguments in a conversation, as though those arguments had never been addressed by the other side, is pathological."

 

It is not pathological when the recipients fail to grasp even the most simple point.

 

MH,

 

You may think it clever to teach a child the non-initiation of force principle by not smacking them, but many Objectivists here including myself were probably smacked as children.

 

Do you think that we have all became violent thugs that can not comprehend the concept of NIOF as a result?

 

Do you think that children that have not been spanked all radiate towards objectivism when they become adults?

 

Not likely. Communist China is supposed to have produced some of the most un-spanked children in the world through it's "one-child" policy. You see any great Objectivist uprising happening over there?

 

Is society now lurching more towards pro-libertarian or pro-socialist values since many more parents have started taking the softly-softly approach to chastisement?

 

I am certain that the spanked generation of the nineteenth century were more pro-libertarian than the current generation.

 

It was always the liberal-left that were vehemently opposed to any form of physical chastisement of children. I wonder why? Maybe it was good for the cause of spreading world-wide communism?




Post 52

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 11:55amSanction this postReply
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Marcus,

Do you think that we have all became violent thugs that can not comprehend the concept of NIOF as a result?

No, but certain contributors do seem rather more prone to making bad tempered and insulting posts than others (Mentioning no names). ;-)

 

Do you think that children that have not been spanked all radiate towards objectivism when they become adults?

No, nor have I said anything of the sort.

 

Not likely. Communist China is supposed to have produced some of the most un-spanked children in the world through it's "one-child" policy. You see any great Objectivist uprising happening over there?

No, but few if any Chinese children are being taught to be Objectivists.

 

Is society now lurching more towards pro-libertarian or pro-socialist values since many more parents have started taking the softly-softly approach to chastisement?

Many of those that take what you call the "softly softly approach" in fact make no effort at all to control their children's behaviour. That is not what I am advocating.

 

I am certain that the spanked generation of the nineteenth century were more pro-libertarian than the current generation.

It would be interesting to find out whether the (classical) liberal middle class used corporal punishment as often or as brutally as the gradually more socialist leaning lower classes.

 

It was always the liberal-left that were vehemently opposed to any form of physical chastisement of children. I wonder why? Maybe it was good for the cause of spreading world-wide communism?

No, the liberal-left are against teaching children to take any kind of responsibility. Once again, that is not what I am advocating.

MH


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Post 53

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 11:23amSanction this postReply
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Much of what I've read so far leads me to believe that most here would agree that a non-smacking consequence is preferable to a smack. The term "last resort" has been used quite a bit.

There is always a non-smacking consequence. There are dozens of tools in the parental toolbox.

If there is always a non-smacking alternative, then why ever resort to the "last resort"?

Maybe parents aren't running out of parental tools, but parental patience? Is that a good reason to smack a child?

~Jenn




Post 54

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 3:08pmSanction this postReply
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Agreed. Furthermore, the politicians in charge of the fiasco are *fully aware* that Foster is right, but choose to sit on the evidence. The film is *total* crap.

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Post 55

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 4:18pmSanction this postReply
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Thanks for the comments, Marcus, Duncan, and Jennifer.

Duncan, as an adult, if you started moving towards my hot stove, I'd say "Careful! That's hot".  The obvious difference is that I don't feel any need to physically restrain you because you're not capable of understanding that it'll kill you. 

Adam, you claim that treating a child like an adult is a straw man.  That's a great way of ignoring the point.  But let me just reply that that summary of my post is itself a straw man.  As I pointed out, and you ignored entirely, the arguments offered against spanking are based on an untenable principle. 

Unless your example of burning your child's flesh is your attempt to prove that you never need to resort to force, faith, or authority?  Well, obviously it is a use of force.  And you don't quite have the luxury of letting a child run through the consequences of his actions every time either.  That's why I mentioned an electric outlet, a child running off a cliff, or into traffic.  Your example of you running into the street misses the entire point.  Parents aren't concerned that their children might trip and scratch themselves when they say don't go near the street.  It's getting hit by a car that's the problem.  I also gave explanations why the effects of a behavior may be difficult to explain to someone with a vocabulary of three words, such as why you shouldn't hit your sister.  Now are you really taking the position that you can always use persuasion to get the child to behave correctly, no matter their age?  I realize you haven't said this directly, but I see that as the only possibility of rationally discarding my first post.

Scott, you bring up an excellent point in your post.  Michael M. brought it up earlier by suggesting the pro-spankers were all pro-war as well, with the implications that the anti-spankers are anti-war.  Pacifists.  Principles that are true in society as a whole are often true in more personal relationships.  Pacifism is one.  We know it doesn't work in practice because as soon as a criminal realizes there is nothing stopping him, he can do whatever he wants. A child is the same way.  And that is exactly why so many non-spanking parents have such horrible children.  The child realizes they can't/won't do anything to him, and you're left with parents begging and pleading for good behavior.

I've seen the behavior you describe.  The child that realizes that he'll never be spanked.  Time-out is a sham.  He runs around screaming and kicking and breaking things.  And when he finally gets bored, he might go sit down for 60 seconds.  If he gets bored.  The same kid, one fine X-mas day, found out that since it's X-mas, he wouldn't get punished for bad behavior.  You can imagine the results.

MH, I don't even know where to start with you.  Your comments so far are so stupid, I've just tried to ignore you.  Barbara made the comment that nobody is claiming that people should go to jail for swatting their kids.  She must have been thinking "nobody in their right mind would."  And here you are.  If that weren't bad enough, you've twisted and turned to try to pretend you're not taking the position you're taking.  Yes you want child-spankers to go to jail.  But then it's only if they have been forewarned.  And you don't have the guts to admit you want David in jail for his actions.

Now, as for your comments, most of my post was concerned with the ethical arguments against spanking.  I dismissed the legal/political aspect because most of the people here get it, and it's not interesting.  But if you want, fine.  Grabbing an adult and immobilizing them is a violation of their rights.  If I did it to you, I could go to jail, even though I never actually smacked you.  If a child has the same rights, as you argue, then your argument means that parents should also go to jail, even if they did it for a good reason.  We don't  accept that the government can violate our rights even if they say they're doing it for our own good.  And your notion of "exercising the child's rights" is devoid of meaning.  How does one exercise the rights of another?  If I exercised your right to private property, I would in fact be violating your rights, not exercising them.  Is this enough to convince you that your initial position is flawed?  Or will you keep beating that dead horse?

As for time-outs, etc., those are in fact punishments intended to create emotional distress.  But then again, so is a spanking.  The goal of spanking your kid is never about doing physical damage.  You don't break their legs so they don't move around so much.  You slap them on the behind so they know what they did was bad.

And although you claim to have explained everything in reply to my comments, you've explained nothing.  You've explained that you'd like to throw people in jail for not treating a child like an adult, but then you've also flipped and flopped to the point where you want it illegal, but nobody actually punished.  Forgive me for not being utterly convinced.

Has anyone else explained why spanking is bad?  So far the best arguments have been that it teaches bad mental habits by not treating them as adults, which is what I've argued against.  There has been ridiculous ideas that spanking will make the child grow up to be murderers or something, but the countless counterexamples and complete lack of confirming evidence make this one hard to take seriously.

Now what's a justification for spanking?  Ultimately, like any interaction between people, force sets the limits.  If a child lives in your house and breaks the rules (i.e., violates your rights), there are three things you can do.  One, call the police and let the courts handle it.  Anyone want to argue that position?  Two, the parent uses retaliatory force directly (i.e., you hit your sister, you get a spanking).  Three, the parent never uses force, and tries persuasion on a barely rational hedonist.

Of course, there are all kinds of intermediate steps that obscure the use of force in number 2.  You can send them to time-out.  You can take money or toys from them.  You can ground them.  But it's all like the IRS saying taxes are voluntary.  Force, or the threat of it, hides behind each of these.  If you're unwilling to use force, you have to pray that your kid doesn't realize that he's in absolute control of the situation.  It all depends on your ability to bluff.  But you're living on a lie.

Let me add to what Marcus said.  You can't teach libertarianism via pacifism.  Libertarianism is a system of retaliatory force, not just a lack of initiation of force.  You can't teach a child to be a libertarian by refusing to retaliate (i.e., punish them).  That's actually the quickest way to teach a child that force is the proper means of dealing with other people.  They learn through first-hand experience that people won't stand up to them, and all they have to do is bully their way through life.



Post 56

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 5:49pmSanction this postReply
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Joe,

In your post, you make the questionable assumption that those of us who advocate making beating the child a last resort do so on intrinsicist grounds. This is false. Those of us who actually brought up children in a way appropriate to young humans - as is traditional among secular Jews, and as Objectivists from other cultures, such as Ron Merrill, were able to learn from the work of Haim Ginott - know that those methods are valid, from their results in reality: kids brought up this way grow into competent, independent, responsible adults. Your claims to the contrary, which you have not seen fit to back with any actual facts, are false. When seemingly applicable premises lead to false conclusions - as your premises do here lead - it may be time to examine the experience of those of us who actually brought up children into competent, independent, rational adults.

As for sanctioning state intervention into the family, again you are simply counterfactual. In many cases, letting a child experience the natural consequences of her actions will result in both pain and (sometimes permanent, like the scar on my forehead) visible marks that can be readily mistaken for signs of abuse. So I think that we can agree to keep the state, in the current context, out of the home, except in cases where abuse is clearly evident.

So from here on, unless you can point to a single case of a child who, as a result of parents using Haim Ginott's methods actually grew up into, as you threaten, "a barely rational hedonist," I have no reason to believe that you have any facts of reality in which to ground what you have written in this thread.

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Post 57

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 5:53pmSanction this postReply
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Jenn Casey wrote:
Maybe parents aren't running out of parental tools, but parental patience? Is that a good reason to smack a child?
Yes, it is, if the parents have a shred of respect for the value of their own precious time and energy.


Luke Setzer


Post 58

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 5:57pmSanction this postReply
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Joe,

I can only wonder whether you've read what I've said. I do not think David should be jailed for anything, contrary to popular belief I never actually said that. My actual statement that in the context of corporal punishment being illegal "there comes a point when the police would get involved". Tempers were beginning to fray at that point, admittedly not helped by a flippant posting by myself that obviously went over too seriously (If I did one really stupid thing during this debate, then sending that particular post is it), and in that situation people occasionally stay things without thinking them through properly - I've seen it happen plenty of times in the past, not least here on SOLO. As it stands, I conceded some of the argument I;d then made back in the original thread after cooling off sometime on Sunday afternoon (because I reflected on what the implications were, helped by some constructive posts from David and Alec as I recall). You would criticise me if I did believe David should go to prison, here you criticise me for not believing he should go to prison. I gave a pretty clear description in post #33 of the sort of thing I do have serious issues with, and the sort of "last resort" cuff David talked about is nowhere near it.

Grabbing an adult and immobilizing them is a violation of their rights.  If I did it to you, I could go to jail, even though I never actually smacked you.  If a child has the same rights, as you argue, then your argument means that parents should also go to jail, even if they did it for a good reason. 
No it doesn't, as I explained earlier. What I mean by the parents exercising the child's rights is precisely that while the child is too immature to take full responsibility for himself, the parents may do certain things for the child, to the extent that these are in the child's interest. So they can stop a child from harming himself, but not do anything to harm the child. Argue over the specifics of that sure, but I can;t see what about that principle an Objectivist would actually object to.
And although you claim to have explained everything in reply to my comments, you've explained nothing.  You've explained that you'd like to throw people in jail for not treating a child like an adult, but then you've also flipped and flopped to the point where you want it illegal, but nobody actually punished.  Forgive me for not being utterly convinced.
What you describe as me flipping and flopping was in fact me accepting that part of my initial position was flawed and then changing my mind accordingly. Since when has that been something to criticise?

Has anyone else explained why spanking is bad?  So far the best arguments have been that it teaches bad mental habits by not treating them as adults, which is what I've argued against.  There has been ridiculous ideas that spanking will make the child grow up to be murderers or something, but the countless counterexamples and complete lack of confirming evidence make this one hard to take seriously.

I posted this link (to a site which has quite a bit of research into the effects) into the original thread. As far as I know no one paid any attention to it (certainly there were no comments about what's on there). I don't endorse everything on there - part of it seems to come from a Christian perspective, its just accessible, mostly very interesting and at times disturbing.

MH


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Post 59

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 7:06pmSanction this postReply
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Adam, so nice to see you advocating smacking a child as a last resort.  From your earlier posts, it seemed that using such a technique would cause a child to be violent later in life.

There is obviously plenty of talking past one another going on in these threads.  Does everyone here recognize that beating your child into submission until he's 18 is bad?  Yes.  So nobody is arguing that some of the techniques you and others use are appropriate.  On the other hand, people in the anti-spanking crowd have suggest the police get involved, that children have full rights, that spanking leads to an authoritarian-based obedient child with an undeveloped mind who suffers throughout his adult life.  If you persist in treating the anti-spanking crowd as a homogenous group, you'll have to defend their weakest points.  I fully realize that you are not making the same arguments others are making, but that doesn't mean they aren't making them.

You make some vague reference to my premises leading to incorrect conclusions, but don't specify them.  Which conclusions?  Which premises? 
That a pacifist has to rely on the good grace of the child?  It's certainly possible that the child will not understand his power, or won't abuse it, but that doesn't change the fact that the child is in charge, not the adult.  I assume this is why you just said that it is a last resort.  In other words, you recognize the ultimate reliance on force (just like the IRS).  If you want to join the "never spank" crowd, feel free.

Oh, and the "barely rational hedonist" was not a threat of what would happen, but an evaluation of the state of a young child.  I don't know how you interpreted that wrong.

MH, you're not helping your case by wiggling even more.  Obviously that if corporal punishment is illegal, the police will get involved.  The question is, who here thinks it should be illegal?  You.

You can talk all about changing your mind, and reflecting on this and that,  or how you're more worried about other cases, etc., but you've never said you don't think it should be illegal.  All you've said is you think it should be illegal, but you don't think it should be enforced.  I have no patience for your attempt to have your cake and eat it.  If you are now against making corporal punishment being illegal, say so.  But don't expect me to play along.  And certainly don't think I'm going to stop acknowledging your wish to have David thrown in jail just because you claim to have altered your view in some non-significant way.  As you just said:

they can stop a child from harming himself, but not do anything to harm the child.
In other words, all this crap about reflecting and what-not has not change your initial position.  Now why should you want us to believe otherwise?  This isn't accepting that part of your initial position was wrong, and changing it.  That's pushing right ahead while asking not to be held accountable.

Of course, in the wider sense, spanking is done for the child's sake, and not to harm him.  Or it is the use of retaliatory force, as I mentioned above.

So, if you want us to stop criticizing your flip-flops, why not come out and say it straight (and no...saying "I said it in post blah" is not the same...since you definitely didn't say it).  Do you think spanking should be illegal?  Is it a violation of the child's rights?  Simple questions.


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