| | One of the things which seem to be overlooked here is the evolving concept of child rearing..... to begin with, in the not so distant past, the view of persons amounted to being possessions... indeed, this - aside the hollywood perversion of how the past was - was actually the viewing of most of history, and 'childhood' as we know of it just did not exist until the past 100 -150 years or so.... consequently, notions of the proper way to raise a developing human is basically a twentieth century invention - and I say invention because it was only within the past century that there arose the need to this, to take account of how a child develops, and the best way (depending on one's view of the role of a person with the rest of humanity) to impliment this teaching.... as such, this was a new bit of responsibility to the parents that had not existed before, and which had to be incorporated into a pre-existing format of maintaining the family - largely because the old ways of the family were disappearing due to the industrializing and urbanizing of the western world... in other words, therein developed a science viewing of the matter..... this, in turn, meant a re-viewing of the old ways and a number of questionings of the validity of previously accepted and, yes, cherished methods of instructing.... one of these involve 'spanking'.... moreover, it also involved recognising the individuality involved - that is, 'one size does NOT fit all', for we are, each of us, individuals, with different unique aptitudes, and as such need much more in the way of personalized instructing as pertained to the specific one(s) involved.......
However, this necessity was not passed instructively to the parents, but was only for the most part picked up 'after the fact' - that is, after having the child/children, and finding problems in raising them... as such, the needed parental information is given under stress to begin with, with haphazard applicating, due to the noted stresses of the aflicted parties..
So now we are entering the 'transistioning' period, where these various notions have been explored and - as seen in this thread, vigorously defended and/or despised...
unfortunately, too, with a number of name-callings and accusations - mostly from those who have not the patience or intuitive wit to properly apply the restraining methods without resorting to the 'time honored' , the spanking..... all because this is done 'in the midst of things' instead of a learnedness from the beginning, with the stresslessness that said time gives before the involvement of the actual child rearing....
that is why, as with Adam, there is success, whereas with others, there is not, and the resorting to the 'tried and true' as a 'last measure of defense' as it were...
I dare say that in the coming generation, matters will be less stressful, if only because this knowledge-gaining of rearing is more cognitively done, from these present and near past experiences - and including, with many examples, methods of how to deal with the more recalcitrant ones... after all, much of this 'respect for the sovereignty of the individual, regardless of age' stemmed from Haim Ginott's works, and of those who followed him... and it is only in this present time that there has accumulated much empirical evidence of what works and how and why - the very things needed for success..... guarenteed success? no - for there will always be the exception...... yet enough to understand the nature of the developing individual, and the nature of keeping the respect due to that individual as qua individual, irrespective of age.....
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