RoR: Forum

It's a good thing that was posted to humor.... I almost voted for you. :)

Post 1

Saturday, October 29, 2005 - 10:19am

Well, Joe, yeah, I trust Luke... don't you? I mean, we certainly could do without all these "competing governments." Japan competing with China for monopolisitic control of the protection markets in Manchuria... Germany and France competing for the Rheinland... The USA and Cuba competing for Cuba... India and Pakistan competing for Kashmir. If we had one world government, we would have far fewer wars. In addition, we would have one code of laws for everyone, instead of different laws in Minnesota and Kamchatka and the Transvaal. As Ayn Rand noted in her famous essay, "Global Balkanization" capitalism began the process of ending nationalism -- and only fully consistent capitalism can bring about a completely unified world of one race, one government, one destiny, now and forever!

Luke! Set! Zer!
Luke! Set! Zer!
Luke! Set! Zer!
Luke! Set! Zer!

(Just one question, Mr. Chancellor, to whom were you speaking? The herd does not need or understand the message. Also, the megalomania thing: I can understand how that can be misperceived, but is it not true that as the higest expression of the historical moment, you are not personally important?)

Post 2

Saturday, October 29, 2005 - 12:32pm

Does this mean I don't have to pay my taxes this year? That would be good.

rde
Proletariat-In-Waiting

Post 3

Saturday, October 29, 2005 - 12:53pm

Well, Mr. Smith:

After you're voted in, and create 'our' dream-paradise, I hope you're not going to smirkingly ask, in that stormy downpour, "How do you like what I've done with the place?"

Good 'vote-for-me' speech, though. Almost sounds like what A.H. would've tried, if he thought he really needed unpressured votes.

LLAP
J:D

Post 4

Saturday, October 29, 2005 - 12:55pm

Comrade Marotta, you ask too many questions. Your place is not to question, but only to obey.

Any good student of Marxism -- and you are a good student of Marxism, are you not? -- knows that the midwife of force is necessary to deliver the new society from the old one. It will be with great reluctance that I will accept the emergency powers of World Chancellor, but rest assured that I will relinquish those powers once this crisis in human history -- this preposterous and destructive notion of "individual rights" -- has been wiped once and for all from our collective memory.

Once that glorious day passes, I will cheerfully manifest the Marxist prediction of the withering of the state out of existence due to lack of need.

Post 5

Saturday, October 29, 2005 - 1:23pm

Luke,

I believe that this article has all the requirements to become a milestone in human history. You obviously are more concerned with the moral and political aspects, but you should consider the scientific ones as well.

For instance, it would be most interesting to see if unnecessary appendages like the tooth will be a part of the human organism, or if it will simply evolve away, within a controlled environment where eating will be banned for a few generations.

Other than eating, what use does a tooth have for the human being? The tooth fairy? That despicable myth has been exploded. Biting people? That unfortunate urge must be weaned from the human mind - and it is even possible that evolution would multitask here.

It is well known that toothache is one of the worst pains possible to human experience. By eliminating the tooth, you will also benevolently eliminate the possibility of any such pain.

Please think about this noble experiment. I applaud you, sir, for standing up for human virtue!

You have my vote.

Michael

Post 6

Saturday, October 29, 2005 - 1:41pm

Comrade Kelly, you clearly have our best interests in mind. Why, just think of our collective knowledge advancing human stature toward godly status within a few generations! Despite its scourges, religion has occasionally stumbled upon useful medical procedures such as circumcision -- and we need to be circumspect about this knowledge before simply dismissing it as unscientific nonsense. We already know how useless wisdom teeth are -- so your comment about all teeth becoming socially conditioned away has clear, socially scientific merit.

Comrade, we need visionary men like yourself to midwife the New World Order! When we elect me as World Chancellor, I will appoint you as World Director of Health!

Post 7

Saturday, October 29, 2005 - 8:25pm

Comrade L,

(It is time we adopted code names.) I graciously accept your noble challenge in the name of the exalted collective humankind.

There is one minor correction. I will midhusband anything. I will midwife nothing.

Rhetoric, Comrade L. Correct rhetoric is necessary for the glorious new world order to become a reality.

Do not be offended with the scolding, Comrade L. Our future World Chancellor cannot be anything less than perfect.

Comrade M

Post 8

Sunday, October 30, 2005 - 5:24pm

Sunday, October 30, 2005 - 7:22pm

OH MY - been a LONG time since I've seen that one... thanks for resurrecting it...

Post 10

Monday, October 31, 2005 - 4:32am

If you still cling to the evil notion that you have the "natural right" to make your own choices about anything, rest assured that when we elect me as World Chancellor, we will adjust your attitude—permanently.

I am the right man for the job!

The adjustment knob on my attitude control has been welded in place. But you can certainly try, if you're up for the challenge.

Before you come a'knockin', though, be sure your affairs are in order.

*click-click*

Waiting patiently...

SmS

;o)

Post 11

Monday, October 31, 2005 - 4:47am

Comrade Serravillo, as your forthcoming World Chancellor, I can assure that we need not fear for our safety. No "individual" will need guns or other weapons because our totally fair law enforcement officials will assure the protection of us. We will make our world a safer place once we rid the world of all privately owned forms of self-defense once and for all. Hand over your weapon peacefully for the sake of the greater good which we will guarantee.

Post 12

Monday, October 31, 2005 - 4:57am

Hand over your weapon peacefully for the sake of the greater good which we will guarantee.

No problem. Come get 'em...

Edit: I have one request, though -- that you come personally...

;o)

SmS

(Edited by Summer Serravillo on 10/31, 4:58am)

Post 13

Monday, October 31, 2005 - 5:12am

Comrade Serravillo, the crucial affairs of the World Chancellor prevent me from personally fulfilling your request. We have, however, contracted a family-owned collection agency based in Sicily to commence their highly persuasive methods of weapons collection globally.

(Edited by Luke Setzer on 10/31, 5:13am)

Post 14

Monday, October 31, 2005 - 5:17am

...the crucial affairs of the World Chancellor prevent me from personally fulfilling your request.

That's okay... I'll come to you...

We have, however, contracted a family-owned collection agency based in Sicily to commence their highly persuasive methods of weapons collection globally.

Kewl!! I love family reunions!!! LOL!!!

SmS

Post 15

Tuesday, November 1, 2005 - 2:27pm

Comrade L

Clearly a most beneficial opportunity is being wasted here. We shall have the need in the New World Order for people who bear the talents of Comrade Summer.

May I suggest an appropriate invitation?

Invite Comrade S to be the World Collection Czar, and include collection to mean both assets and information.

Comrade M

(Edited by Michael Stuart Kelly on 11/02, 5:26am)

Post 16

Wednesday, November 2, 2005 - 12:16am

Boy, am *I* in the wrong thread!

"Into exile, I must go."

LLAP
J:D

Post 17

Wednesday, November 2, 2005 - 10:39am

Clearly a most beneficial opportunity is being wasted here. We shall have the need in the New World Order for people who bear the talents of Comrade Summer.

Comrade Summer would sooner eat Hawaiian pizza than agree to such a thing.

(ref thread: News Discussions - EU Court Protects Greek Feta )

Summer

Post 18

Wednesday, November 2, 2005 - 11:52am

Wow, Summer - you really ARE cute [love it when you get angry over pineapple ;-)]

Post 19

Thursday, November 3, 2005 - 4:23am