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Post 0

Tuesday, June 28, 2005 - 6:54pmSanction this postReply
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"Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo."

This reminds me of David Bowie's song in Labyrinth... You remind of the babe / What babe? / The babe with the power / What power? / Power of the voodoo / Who do? / You do!   Dance, magic dance!


Post 1

Tuesday, June 28, 2005 - 11:02pmSanction this postReply
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This is hilarious!

Barbara

Post 2

Tuesday, June 28, 2005 - 11:50pmSanction this postReply
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Can't remember the last time I couldn't stop laughing. Gotta get this book!

--Brnat


Post 3

Wednesday, June 29, 2005 - 4:37amSanction this postReply
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My fave - "You forget? Can you give an example of something you've forgotten?"

Post 4

Wednesday, June 29, 2005 - 6:41amSanction this postReply
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The post from Lindsay Perigo can be found verbatim on several websites.  Like the funny outtakes from church bulletins ("... Mr. and Mrs. Smith and their sin, Robert,...") and the supposedly true answers from school tests and essays ( "H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water") and more, these allegedly true courtroom stories have no attributions or authentications.  Disorder in the American Court: Great Fractured Moments by Charles Sevilla (1993) is the most likely original source
 
At least two serious books also have the title Disorder in the Court.  Gene Edward Veith wrote: "They [the Founders -- of the American republic, not the Gamma quadrant] could never have conceived of postmodernist legal theory, which recognizes no fixed, objective meaning in the law; which believes interpretation of the law is an arbitrary construction; which believes statutes and the Constitution itself are ever-evolving, relativistic paradigms that can be used to impose the judge's personal opinion."  The American Legislative Exchange Council published Disorder in the Court: a guide for state legislators (2001).  ALEC is a bipartisan, Jeffersonian organization committed to the free market. (http://www.alec.org/

As for the lawyer jokes, humor is humor and fine enough as it is, I suppose, but would you really want to live in a society without lawyers?  America has so many lawyers per capita because we really are a nation based on rule of law where people have rights. 

Newt Gingrich once said that he could bring America's  healthcare costs down dramatically overnight.  Just follow the Canadian prescription and let people die.  If we just threw people in jail or shot them or basically let people act any way they choose without consequences, then lawyers would be unnecessary.

How about a philosopher joke:
Dean, to the physics department. "Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. Why couldn't you be like the math department - all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. All they need are pencils and paper."
(http://www.workjoke.com/projoke70.htm)

Michael (inconveniently not Bruce)
Immauel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable! Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table! David Hume could outconsume...


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Post 5

Saturday, February 23, 2008 - 10:49pmSanction this postReply
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LOVE IT!!!! I've read these somewhere before, but I can't remember where. I think these are hilarious. My faves were: 
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?


,
 
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p..m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

 
&
 
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

I liked the answers the doctors gave because they were wity, though wouldn't be surprized if it was all the same doctor as they're all about a death, they all involve an incredibly stupid lawyer, and the doctor(s) were all a bit snappy.


Post 6

Sunday, February 24, 2008 - 1:07pmSanction this postReply
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I had the same reaction to this, Lydia. It's funny how concrete-bound or anti-conceptual some lawyers can be, isn't it?

Ed

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