|In 2002-2003, I worked as a security guard. Our employee handbook -- which we endorsed upon employment -- said as Rule One: When faced with aggression, retreat.|
Sometimes the other guy finds you incompetent. You have no time to think, and you resort to (minimum required) force. One of our guards was confronted by an armed attacker. Bob pulled his gun, aimed and said, "Sir, please, don't make me kill you!" That was enough. The conflict evaporated. Bob's success at non-violence came from the totality of his presence, not from the gun. He always projected competence and confidence; it clearly came from within. Sweating and waving the gun would have guaranteed at least one corpse in that situation.
In our training, we learned that there are many kinds of conflict. Often, the subject is in conflict with himself: emotional, drunk, etc. It is hard to reason with someone in such a state. Still, the burden is on the rational man. We learned that 95% of communicaton is non-verbal. Saying the right words involves how you say it, your body language, tone of voice, etc. A perfectly competent security officer never resorts to violence.
Best of all is being able to plan ahead, predict the conflicts, and avoid them, ameliorate them, or resolve them before they happen to you.